Well here it is. I’ve finished high school, and I’m about to begin the rest of my life in missions. I’m feeling all kinds of emotions that I honestly can’t quite make out. From here on my life is dedicated fully to discovering where the Lord has called me to serve long term, and preparing to get there. This past year for me was so different than most people’s. I didn’t apply to any colleges, I didn’t wait for acceptances or make grad announcements with my college name on them. I didn’t spend nights in fear of getting rejected from a dream school, and I’ve never had the thought of living a college lifestyle in a dorm with thousands of people my age. It was weird, people asking me almost every day “where are you going for school” and “what are you going to school for” and sometimes I feel like my reply just isn’t sufficient for them. I’m not following the social pattern and I think some people are a bit confused about it. But let me tell ya, saying yes to this life in missions is the best decision I’ve ever made.
I had a dream the other night that someone generously paid for the entire rest of my trip, and in the memo they wrote “Say Yes!” This phrase has been engrained in my brain since then, with questions of crippling doubt and uncertainty creeping in each day as it draws closer and closer, I’ve been seriously doubting the possibility of ever being fully funded. But that simple dream gave me so much hope, and a reminder that if I just say yes to Jesus he will provide the rest. This new wave of freedom from fear and uncertainty has washed over me, and although I wish I could say that dream has come true- I know that time is coming. For right now it’s time to be all in, and I’m more ready than I ever been.
This past year was so different, but this next year is going to be even more out of the ordinary. I am still going to be living with a bunch of people my age in dorms, tents, and hostels. I am going to be communing with strangers I’ve never met, leaving home and learning how to be independent. I am going to discover passions I’ve never had and develop the ones I’ve always had, and I sure as heck am going to be growing a ton as I learn how to live in three countries not my own. No, my future isn’t exactly traditional. But that excites me all the more. I don’t know where I’ll be living in the next two years, I don’t know what language I’ll find myself speaking and what food I’ll be eating. But I know that this adventure the Lord has called me on is just beginning.
As my childhood quickly fades, as my simple memories of splashing in the rain with my neighbor and swimming at my grandparents house, trying to learn violin or first learning how to paint come to end- I’ve found myself walking in thankfulness as I realize just how well my parents raised me in The Lord, and how many things I have learned about myself through the trials and pains that I’ve experienced throughout my childhood. I’m off to live the life I’ve always said I would from the age of nine- despite some funny looks and disappointed teachers who believe college is the only way to success. I don’t need success, I just need Jesus- because in him I find the greatest satisfaction. He creates my future and I’m just following along wherever he may lead me. Saying yes to him never comes with regrets.
Cheers to the rest of my life with you, Jesus. Thank you for the past 18 years of childhood and learning and growing and changing into who I am today. I’m saying yes to my future with you and never looking back, here we go.
