Jesus,
I wish I could say that I have full confidence in what you’re doing. I wish I could be joyful through this time of trial, this time of uncertainty. I don’t know what to feel when I see the number $13,800. At first I am amazed at your faithfulness, at the way you have worked so gloriously in my life to get me to this place that I even get the chance to fundraise again. I am humbled by your power, knowing that I could never reach that goal without your miracles. I begin this journey, however, with little faith. Faith I wish could be unwavering, but not even the size of a mustard seed. Lord, in this time of uncertainty, let me see your face. Let me see your light shining upon the darkness within my heart, hindering me from believing. Let your light take over the deepest, coldest, caverns of my soul in which I cannot see any color. Give me patience as I wait for your provisions, give me strength as I pray for your faithfulness. I know God that there is no end to your power, no restrictions on your love. Your faithfulness surpasses all I could comprehend, and I pray for that the ring true today. I cannot see how this will end, but I know your word will conquer all. You promised me your helping hand, and I will learn to trust you. Through this process of waiting and working, keep me from falling into the temptation of believing that I can do it alone. Because oh how hard I will fall if I do. You alone, my Jesus, can conquer this mountain in front of me. You alone my God will be my provider. Humble me, as I realize how weak I am and how little I am in control. And give me a heart of thankfulness for that simple fact. Break my heart for the people I have not yet met, and give me a desire and a fire that burns brighter still with every passing day, in knowledge and certainty that I will meet them. You alone my Jesus, you alone will bring this into fruition. Lord forgive me for my unbelief. Amen
Mark 9:24
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”
