Dear twin sister,
happy birthday!!
Here’s to being nineteen. And separate individuals, single human beings, with similar passions, very different lifestyles, living in different time zones, celebrating our shared birthday on different days. It’s currently February 2, 2017 and I am turning 19 today. For you, It is your last day of being 18, February 1, 2017, and you are celebrating your birthday when I fall asleep tonight. Today I thought of you and remembered all of the birthdays shared, all of the seasons changing together in unison with us. I remember singing around the bonfire at Huntington beach for 17, climbing endless rock formations, shaking with fear and adrenaline and pure excitement in Joshua Tree for 18, and many others spent ice skating, swimming, eating coconut cream pie and opening gifts at the same time so we wouldn’t see what each other received- because we knew it would be the same as our own. Our birthdays have been pretty great, if I’m being honest. Shout out to mom, dad, and us for planning the best ones.
Though I am wishing you a happy birthday, I also want to thank you. I want to thank you for sticking with me. For walking through every broken moment, every moment filled with immense joy and immense pain with me. People say twins are forced best friends. And while I’m not denying that statement (we had our moments), I am thanking you for loving me outside of the expected relationship that naturally follows the life of twins everywhere. You are my best friend. You are the one who knows my heart, my passions, my desires, you know what irritates me, you know how I like my hair braided and my coffee made. I also know that you live for the ocean, and drink coffee with 60% milk, 30% sugar, and 10% coffee, in a glass full of ice. You know how much I love the mountains, you know how and when my heart was molded to love the Nations and you watched me grow into this calling, which is the reason I’m writing this from India. You saw my anxious heart as a young child and you have watched me melt down on multiple occasions because of something I couldn’t control. You drove me around for six months because I was afraid to drive, so I refused to get my license. You have seen me yell and cry and freak out when I lost my pet frog somewhere in the house. You take my crap and you call me out, and even when I’m too full of pride to listen, still you love me anyways. We were born into a family of two older half brothers, mom and dad, and us. We now have a family of mom, dad, two older half brothers, us, two younger step brothers, a stepmom and a stepdad. We also gained a stepgrandpa (is that even a word?). Together we walked through fire and ice just the two of us among our spider web family. We found unity within ourselves among the division, and love with the Lord among the hate. We started every first day of school together, I watched endless nights of you doing gymnastics, and you entertained every single one of my hideous paintings in the early days. You helped me study for math tests and I helped you write essays. We never really did the same activities together- you being an athlete and me being an artist, but we still came home to the same house every night, and some nights all we had were each other. And that was enough.
Eighteen was a year to remember. It was the year when our in-sync lives finally walked in different directions. Six months together, six months apart. But it has by far been my favorite year of living this life with you and the Lord. This year we: Went to Ecuador, gained a stepdad, graduated high school, became (legal) adults, you went to college, I went to other parts of the world, we made breakthroughs through facetime, and ate thanksgiving together around a table and a cell phone screen (shoutout to technology).
Now, we are walking into nineteen apart, and on different days, in different hemispheres. We aren’t around the table eating coconut cream pie (well, at least I’m not). We aren’t surrounded by family and comforted by our beds at home. We are, however, surrounded by those who love us. People who fill in the gaps between us and remind us of how worthy we are to be celebrated because we were created by a worthy God who made us so individually unique. Not to mention the fact that this is the first year, first moment ever, where I can finally say I’m older than you, and not by ten seconds, by 10 hours (Now it’s my turn to get out of the trampoline first)! Anyways, I think this year I have understood how special it is to have a twin, and in your absence I fill the birthday with new memories to tell you of the year we celebrated our February 2, groundhogs day, our day- apart. The Lord has been so good to us my dear friend, we have so much to celebrate and I hope you know that as you are sleeping I am celebrating you and the beauty that you are, the joy that you carry, and the life that you steward so well. I am celebrating you in the light, I hope you do the same. I love you my sister, my twin. Happy nineteenth birthday from across the globe.
Love, Tay
