God has not waited to jump right in to show up and make waves in my life, to let the water rush onto me, cleanse me, and begin to heal me. My first stop on The World Race is to Lukodi, Uganda. Our ministry is working with Child Voice Intrnational(CVI). CVI is an organization who works with women and their children who have been silenced because of war. The war the overtook this land was Alice's holy spirit war followed by Joseph Kony's lords resistance army (LRA). The people and this land know so much loss, pain, and what the work of the enemy looks like first hand. On our first full day here we were told about the land, about the war, and how Alice and Kony were cousins that were both filled with spirits. We were told how the people of this land and their family would forgive them for all that happened here as long as the spirits that were inside of them were gone. They could forgive the deaths, emotional and phyiscal pain, and the scars that were left here during the war. We were also told about a tree where Kony made a big decision to move on or formed the LRA.
The tree where Harold Kony sat. The tree is dead, it is small, but next to it is a lighter tree, a tree filled with so has so much life, it is filled with new leaves, and is begining to overtake what satan has destroyed. God has overcome this tree, just like he has overcame every challenge in my life.
I began to be filled with fear of my past coming back to haunt me again. I expected the Lord to be making waves, but not in this area of my life.
I have lived the last two and a half years of my life trying to convince myself that I was just crazy, trying to run, trying to heal from something I was ashmed to talk about. In Uganda, talking about being under control of spirits or demons is a conversation that I have never heard of people being so open to talk about. In Uganda it is not made into Hollywood movies, or pushed way down deep so no one knows. People here simply say this person is in need of prayer, from being attacked through dreams, to having a spirit inside of them. You can so clearly see when a girl is not herself and when she is. The staff and girls surround the girl and begin pouring out prayers over her.
In college, I was taken to a much deeper level than I had ever been before. Deeper than ghost hunting for fun. I had met a guy who was filled with spirits and demons. In the begining, it started out that he just having a schitzaphrenic episode. It was all fun and games as you just sat and listened to what he had to say, even at times egging him on. As time passed he would allow his “friends”(the voices in his head) to come out more often, occasionally letting the demon come out. With time the spirits proved to us that they were not here to harm and simply wanted to help. We all believed that the demon(which turned into demons) protected us from other demons. The demon would teach us how to fight them, protect ourselves, and show us how to use the gifts “they” gave us. The demon told us about our future that made us all come back on for more, and told us things that we had never told anyone. It became a battle in my apartment nearly every night, making us ask the question would be “would we make it through the night”? I began to have a warped sense of life, death, God, demons, reality, society, even what relationships looked like. I was emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially abused. I lost touch of who I was as I formed my identity around the spirit I had and the world we had created.
Looking back I can see so clearly that God was there. He sent so many people to save me, to be a light, to protect me, to remind me of who I was, and simply love me. I can look back on that part of my life and see God there in so many different moments, to see how he has turned those “bad situations” into amazing stories filled with God's Grace. I can just speak of God's grace over and over again.
I have found so much freedom here in Ludoki, Uganda. I have been set free from the chains that satan has placed on me. I am no longer afraid, when the enemy tries to attack I know that my Papa will be there to protect me. He has not allowed any harm to me, and I know that He will not start allowing it anytime soon. God is so much bigger than anything that satan will ever be able to do. Standing under graces waterfall as the light of freedom shining down on me is a wonderful place to stand.
