Orphan

I was born into a Christian home, raised a Christian – never straying for long. I am a believer. The last six months have been about creating an intimate relationship with God. I have found that I still have an orphan spirit. I have not allowed myself to come into the spirit of sonship with my Papa. I have not submitted to God's mission 100%, I haven't fully given up living to my fulfill my mission. I allow the lies that I will never fit in, I will never dress right, look right, act right, or even talk right. I have lived by the love of the law, rather than following the law because of my love. I have learned that and so many other things about myself are just thoughts of a child of God with an orphan spirit. 

I am coming to terms with the idea of rest and peace, that I am
fearfully and wonderfully made, that God loves me so much, that I don't have
to do anything to earn His love and affection, and so many other things. It is a choice in every aspect of my life to see how I am a daughter of God and not am orphan. I am free to be the loving, silly, weird, caring, bubbly, nosey, beautiful woman that He created me to be. I do not need to seek validation from man, because I will never find it — simply I will never be good enough for man. But I am made perfect for my Papa. 

God is my loving Father, my papa that wants me to know deep in my heart that I have a split in His house. He wants me to move into my room, which was made just for me. But as usual I have allowed the thinking from my orphan spirit get in the way of my spirit of sonship. I have sat, praying and thinking"how in the heck do I leave my orphan spirit behind and move into my Papa's house"? It hit me like a train.

God is so, so, so good he orchestrates everything just at
the perfect
timing. Here's I am, in Ethiopia – at an orphanage. By children who are classified as double orphan(both parents are deceased), single orphan (one parent is deceased), or social orphan (which can be one or both parents in jail, on drugs, or not mentally able to take care of children). Coming to HopEthiopia my team and I were greeted by children who are clean, well fed, loved, who just want to love, play, and give you kisses. Those same children have been moved into a home with a loving mother filled with hope, food, opportunities to learn and grow, basic necessities and more. They have left a life of empty bellies, dirty, sick, no hope for a better future, and left alone. These children and mothers have left that life with joy. One of the little boys mother went back to her old home to grab the last few things. This little four year old boy refused to leave with her because he didn't want to go back to the way he was living before. He loves
being in a
loving, nurturing home where his needs and more are met. 

You can walk right into our Abbas house , the door is never locked. He is always waiting for you to come home — no matter what time of day or night it is. It is a daily choice to have the spirit of sonship. The orphan spirit will try to creep back in and fill you with lies of not being good enough– trying to get you to move out of the house. 

"After all, of the Holy Spirit moves, nothing can stop Him. If He doesn't move, we will not produce genuine fruit — no matter how much effort or money we expend". 

-Forgotten God, Francis Chan 

There is nothing that you can do to impress our God. He doesn't need you. But he will choose you over and over until the end of time. He will use you, as long as you allow yourself to be apart of His mission instead of your own. What will you
choose, to be on
the outside looking in, bitter, angry, and alone? Or would you choose to be on the inside surrounded by love, knowing your value, surrounded by joy and snuggled up with our Papa? 

Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans."