gen·er·ous
/’jen?r?s/
adjective
(of a person) showing a readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected.
synonyms: lavish, openhanded, unselfish, big-hearted
Have you ever played that game? You know, the one where someone says a word and you have to say the first thing that comes to your mind that associates with that word? It’s interesting to discover our mind’s split-second association with different things. What comes to your mind when you see the word “generous”? Is it an event? Is it a thing? Is it a person?
For me, my heart and my mind gravitate towards the same example every time I ponder the concept: my dad.
Growing up, I lacked for nothing. He was constantly pouring out his time and his energy and his money into his kids. I was always puffed up with pride claiming him as my dad. I was always filled to the brim with excitement in the afternoons knowing that at some point my dad would walk through the door, and he would give me that smile reserved just for me. There are countless notes he has saved from his old desktop computer that I wrote to him in anticipation of his arrival. Most of them are filled with the silly thoughts of a young girl, but all of them are loaded with adoration for my hero…for my daddy.
From a letter written on February 23, 2003. I was 10 years old.
Hi daddy! I love you soooooo much! Happy birthday! Would you stop having birthdays! I can’t catch up to you! I love you! Have a great day!
Love,
Little Smooshy
Over the years, the hardships of life have taken a tole on him: on his heart and his mind and his spirit. He’s lost things about himself that I remember vividly adding to what made up his identity. Still though, no matter the struggle, no matter the heartache and no matter the pain he’s been put through, he has never once ceased being an incredibly generous man. Even if he didn’t have the means to express it like he normally would, his heart has never once stopped beating with generosity. Through the tough times he’s gained some things too. Things that are vital to who he is now. My dad is a beautiful example of a man who’s been stripped of everything, and yet he still stands on two feet and says to the Lord, “here I am. How do I serve you?”
My dad doesn’t have any idea how incredible he is.
He is is own worst critic.
His view of himself is narrow and small and always comes up short.
To my dad, my hero, my Fajah, my Big Smooshy,
You inspire me everyday with your love of God and your love for the people around you. Thank you for showing me what real, true, unhindered generosity looks like.
Thank you for being there for me every single time I’ve needed you.
Thank you for providing me with everything I’ve ever needed or wanted.
Thank you for being my cheerleader, my coach and my biggest fan.
Thank you for being my rock and my support.
Thank you for introducing me to New York sports.
You are my favorite man on the planet.
You are incredible, and words cannot do you justice.
You see, Philly, I wouldn’t be who I am today without you. I wouldn’t snort when I laugh. I wouldn’t have my ears. I wouldn’t be a Georgia Peach on the outside, New Yorker to the bone on the inside. I wouldn’t know how to fight like I do. I wouldn’t know how to love like I do. I wouldn’t understand how beautiful a life giving everything with hands wide open is. My life would simply be much less colorful. Much less full. It would be incomplete. I would be incomplete.
On this journey I’ve seen countless women beaten down by fathers who don’t cherish their babies. I’ve seen children abandoned and confused because their dads just walked out. I’ve heard stories of abuse, of neglect, and of tragedy because of the fathers around this world who just. don’t. get it.
Mine is an example to this broken world what a father should be. Not only did I get an incredible dad, but I got a best friend too. You put dads around the world to shame. You set an incredible standard for the man who gets to call himself the daddy of my kids someday. You are amazing. You are set-apart. You are free from guilt, shame and regret because of the blood of jesus, on which you firmly stand. You are free. You are worthy. You are GREAT. You’re mine, and I love you like crazy.
Happy father’s day, Fajah.
I love you.
