The other day a group of us got the opportunity to go to a place called Trash Mountain/Smokey Mountain for a feeding. Trash Mountain is a giant hill of trash that the poorest people live on. It used to being an active dump site, land fill, but they closed it down when it got too full and too tall. Next to it is a pitch black river that is also filled with trash. Definitely the grossest water I’ve ever seen. Amongst all the trash I saw a dead kitten. This was the first thing I saw on our walk to the hill. I didn’t want to look at the water, and I definitely didn’t want to see a dead kitten but I couldn’t not look. I needed my heart to break and that’s what would make it break. Then we got to the huge mass and climbed the steep trail. There was broken glass on top of the layers and layers of trash and dirt. The people that live up there have just made their homes out of random trash they’ve found. Lots of cardboard and plastic. A lot of the sweet children didn’t have clothes so they just ran around naked or half dressed. All their bodies just covered in dirt and their hair a mess. We washed all their hands and wiped their faces, sang songs with them, and then fed them. From the moment we got there the dirtiest little girl stood out to me so I held her the whole time. Ive never held a child so tightly. I felt so much love for her and I didn’t even know her name. God calls her loved, being she is so loved by him. It didn’t matter that she was extremely dirty and that she was getting all these mystery germs on me too. I really couldn’t care less in the moment because her feeling love was more important than me feeling clean and comfortable. It was hard for me though because there were so many more kids that needed love and i couldn’t possibly give them all the love and attention they deserved. There was always at least 2 other kids with their hands as high as they could reach, desperately wanting me to pick them up even though I clearly had my hands full already. At points they even tried just climbing up the side of my body. I wanted them all to know I really did care and they are loved. I let God break my heart that day and it was beautiful. It was sad and it hurt but it was humbling and beautiful to be more in-tune with the heart of God. It’s okay to let your heart break, It’s okay to feel. It allows us to understand Gods heart more, to see from his perspective, to understand his love more, and in turn be able to love his people so much better. If you want to know Gods heart, and love like he does, then let him break your heart.
