Those of you who know me already know that my favorite song is Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams. One of the verses in the song says: “Fear, he is a liar. He will take your breath. Stop you in your steps.”
What do you do when fear has made his way into your thinking and planning? What do you do when you’re not too sure what to do next? Well, I have had to quiet my anxiously beating heart in order to hear the voice of the Lord asking me: “Do you believe?”. If I am honest, I have found myself questioning myself more than I would like to admit. Committing to the World Race is terrifying.
The craziest thing out of having to raise $19,200, leaving the comfort of my home with my family, and traveling to 11 different countries is that since I believe this is what God wants of me then I will do it. Francis Chan is a someone whom I respect immensely and love to listen to speak because of the half yelling and half hoarseness of his voice. He has this quote that I have on my bedroom wall; “But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.” Powerful. Insane. Yet this is beautiful, right? It is this idea that regardless of my circumstances and what makes logical sense to me at this current time, Lord, I will trust You.
During this season of raising support and sharing with people, both about the World Race and what they do, but also why I feel the Lord is calling me to participate is a daunting task. One of the many questions that I have gotten from people when explaining and discussing the World Race is this: “So have you traveled outside of the country before?”. This question makes me laugh every time because I have to explain to them that actually I have primarily traveled outside of the country for vacation at resorts with family. After that answer, most people give me the slow head nod and try to piece together how I will manage with 11 months of travel. I slide in that I did just get back from a trip to Israel that rocked my world. In Israel I got sick and was positive that I would die. Fever, headache, stomach pain, and anything else terrible is exactly what I felt for 3 days and I was miserable. In reality, after getting on some medication and being able to eat again I was fine, but it made me wonder what getting sick would be like while not being able to just go home and rest.
I was reminded that I am actually not in control of anything regardless of whether I am in Virginia or Ethiopia. I get sick in Virginia and I got sick in Israel. Trying to calculate the likelihood of any illness while on the Race is futile and foolish for me. Y’all, please pray for me in this season as I seek obedience, which Scripture says is greater than sacrifice. That I may not look to all the “things” that I will be losing, but rather in stubborn obedience trust that if God is sending me, I can rest in His sovereignty. I am very grateful for each of you that are walking this walk with me and lifting me up in prayer. I am all in.
