Beauty = the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense satisfaction to the mind; a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in high spiritual qualities are manifest).
Many people believe that beauty is only on the surface “beauty is only skin deep.”
But I believe that beauty is much deeper, I believe it comes from within and exceeds out of you creating an organic beauty.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
Growing up I have never really had the best self esteem. It’s been rough always being the chubby one in the family. There hasn’t been a time where I was really satisfied or happy with the way I looked, weight wise. But as I grew up my self esteem seemed too spiral even more downwards. I remember just being displeased with my weight and then my skin, my teeth, my eyes, my lips, my hair, my legs… I remember feeling like, “I could use a complete body transplant!” But then I wouldn’t be me? I had begun hating myself!
I felt sorry for myself, I let simple criticism really hurt me and would say hurtful things about me and to me just get by. Even the people who love me would get frustrated with me for feeling ‘ugly’. During that time I started going to a girl’s bible study, where we were studying beauty. It wasn’t until that after that night that I started learning how to LOVE MYSELF! We began the study by removing all of our make-up. WOOZAAAZ! Yes we removed ALL of it, until there was nothing on our faces but eyes, lips, and nose. This was hard for me because I have always felt I needed make-up to feel and look pretty. This exercise tied into the lesson because we all learned there is a God, a friend, a creator that thinks we are GORGEOUS just the way we are! And that covering up and being ugly towards each other and ourselves was like a slap in the face to our CREATOR.
“The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.” JOB 1:7
I learned that this world is Satan’s world and he fills it with tabloids, magazines and books that tell us we have to look, dress, talk, and act a certain way to be accepted or to feel pretty. I learned the real reason why I feel this way and hate this vessel god has given and made beautiful in his eyes, is because we let Satan control our thoughts. He wins every time I say something negative or hurtful about my appearance or someone else’s. He is jealous of me! Lucifer was the most beautiful angle in heaven and once god created something way more precious and beautiful and valuable to him Lucifer became jealous. Once he was banished to hell he began plotting his revenge on us. And I guess that was how he had targeted me. My weight and envy of others looks and size, my guilt and thoughts of not being good enough. I have gone through a time in my life where I have had thoughts of suicide and, felt worthless because of decisions in my life and because of my appearance. I have thought “why would any man want me?” Why would God want me” and I don’t know if you have ever felt this was, but if you have I want to tell you…God wants you! you are his child, his creation and no matter what you do you are loved by someone. He has someone special made just for you, someone that will love you through all your flaws. Believe me! He has promised.
Now that I have understood and realized that Satan has plotted against me, I have plotted my own revenge on this BEAST!
NO WEAPOND FORMED AGAINST ME. I rebuke every thought of “ugly” because my God in heaven has created something beautiful…ME! Satan you should be jealous and afraid, for God has claimed me powerful for his kingdom and has named me a Princess of the Most High.
In order to obtain this way of thinking I pray this every day. I pray that God gives me the confidence in knowing that no matter what anyone else thinks I am gorgeous to him. I know it’s easier said than done, especially in this world, but if you wake up every morning and tell yourself that you are beautiful, and precious and worthy of God’s love you will feel beautiful, precious and worthy of his love. I promise!
God has made you uniquely different and special in your own way, please! Please! Please! Don’t try and change it! Whether you’re a dork, nerd, weird, quite, timid, loud, funny, shy, cheesy… whatever you maybe, don’t change! God loves you just the way you are!
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P.S: If possible I really need people to help support me monthly for my trip, even if you give $10 a month that would bless me tremendously! Thank you all so much and God bless you!
-Tati-
