I visited the YWAM (Youth With A Mission) base here in Battambang, Cambodia this morning for church service. It REALLY got my gears turning. Exactly 5 years ago I was living on the YWAM base in Colorado Springs doing a DTS (Discipleship Training School). I was getting ready to start my three month outreach phase. This memory of my Nepal team just popped up on Facebook yesterday actually…
Seriously, where does time go?! If any of you are reading this from your homes in America, Switzerland or Spain, I love you guys! It is an odd thing, is it not? To look back on your past and know that that is where God wanted you all along. The road it took to get there… God has always had a certain way of revealing things to me through words, dreams, and whispers in my heart. When I entered my DTS I had no idea where my outreach would end up being. A day not too far from when the picture above was taken, I woke up in Colorado with a resounding whisper in my ear. “Nepal, Nepal, Nepal”, He said.
“What is this weird word you are telling me, Lord?” Yes, it is true, at that time in my life I did not know that Nepal was a country! I hopped my internationally, uneducated self out of that bottom bunk and made my way to breakfast. “Nepal, Nepal, Nepal”, it came again and again like a bug in my ear. “That is not even a real word to me, God”, my thoughts murmured back to Him. I left eating and headed to the classroom.
My comrades and I all listened as leadership told us that today was the day we would find out what countries our outreaches would be in. Louder still, “Nepal, Nepal, Nepal…” At this point it was like a drumbeat in my head. Okay, that was perhaps a clue. I literally raised my hand and asked someone if Nepal was a country. When they told me yes, that was that. I knew Nepal was going to be on that outreach list and it was the one I would goto. This obviously proved true.
Just before I left Colorado, I had a dream. You can read the whole thing in my previous blog “A Himalayan Sunrise”. Basically, I opened my eyes and found myself looking out at mountain ranges. When my eyes closed and opened again, I was writing the word ‘AFRICA’ in the dirt at my feet before lifting my head to see multiple children staring back at me. When my eyes closed and opened the last time, I was standing by a large river and the banks were lined with angels. The voice inside told me I was in South America at that point.
As soon as I awoke I recorded that dream in my journal. Four months ago, I re-read those words before I walked out of my house for this trip. It remains a reminder for me that this is exactly where I should be right now. The World Race has circled me back to the mountains of Nepal, will take me to Africa in January, and land me in South America for my final four months. After my return from Nepal, there were several people who prophesied over me, saying that I would goto ‘many nations’. I think I will be able to check that box after this year.
Recently I have been praying, listening, waiting… What is next? That was probably the most frequently asked question I recieved before I left. Will I move overseas eventually to be a long-term missionary? Maybe I will put in for a staff position and lead teams through YWAM or something. The Middle East began to spark interest in me also… All things I considered over the past four years. All things that greatly excited me. However, for those of you wondering, all of that has turned into “No, no, and no”, from the Lord.
The great commission calls us to all nations, and I am definitely a person who is willing to go anywhere. The harder, the better for me. I have always wanted to be in the dirt. Electricity is a plus, not a need for life. Holes in the ground are just as efficient as western toilets, and it has never really mattered to me if a shower comes in the form of proper plumbing or a river. Maybe you can somehow put yourself in my mind and imagine the step back I took when God began to slowly give me a new heart last year. One that I can still feel growing. A heart for America. A heart for my home.
One thing I learned in YWAM, is that missions is a way of life. It is not a trip you take. It is not something you work into your schedule or only do certain places. It has taken time for me to come to this place. A place of peace at returning to the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina in seven months and beginning the rest of my life there. Settling down, looking towards marriage, buying a house, being intentional with my family, loving my friends through the ups and downs to come, plugging into a local ministry, and doing missions in everyday life right where I call home.
The experiences, stories, growth, and heart change that has/will come from 11 different cultures and nations will absolutely impact me and help me to impact others for the rest of my life. God is still developing this heart for home in me. Keeping me present as I circle the globe, while slowly giving me dreams and goals for when I return. My soul is resting in the best of both worlds. From time to time I feel His hands molding my heart a bit more towards home. Another indention here, a fingerprint there, smoothing out that edge. Only time will reveal the fullness of it.
So for those of you wondering what I will be doing after The World Race… I will be coming home to continue missions in my community there, and it has never been more well with my soul.
