It’s been a long couple months since I have been home from
the race. It has truly been a time
of testing in more ways than one.
My bro, Sister-In-Law, Erin and little Joshua David in Colorado!!!
In Exodus, Moses is talking to the people and they simply
tell him that they can’t hear from God himself or they will die, they would
rather Moses be the middleman and relay the message. Not intentionally, but what a scary parallel that is
to my life far to often. I believe it’s literally a process of us dying when we don’t hear directly from God, our intimacy with the greatest of all fades away. I think
sometimes I don’t hear God how I think I should, or am scared to hear the truth
that I try to hear him through those spiritually wiser in my life. But thankfully, those spiritual leaders
continue to tell me that ultimately I must hear from the Lord himself!
I felt the call to go to Spain before I came home from the
race, but the moment I returned home things changed. The best way I can describe it is 90/10…I still had that
little part of me that did not have peace with going to Spain. Moses replied to the
people, “Don’t be afraid. God has
come to test you and instill a deep and reverent awe within you…” I believe
that God tests us so that we may know what is in our hearts. He already knows what He has placed
there, but far to often we don’t!
My bro and I!
As I continually thought about and prayed about other
options, I still did not receive great peace until one final option. I don’t believe that option is for me
right in this moment, but I do believe God needed to test me greatly through
it. Though I know it was a
godly venture and I would have been blessed if I had traveled that road, I
don’t believe it was what God really wanted for me at this time.
Though a billion pages could not begin to tell what more
maturing I have to do, God is showing me that I am maturing and He will speak
to me in various ways through it all.
I was looking for a loud and clear message from God to go to Spain, much
like I heard when I felt the call for The World Race.
Shelby and I!
Elijah was told to go stand on the mountain before God and
he would pass by. Then, “A
hurricane wind…shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t in the wind; after
the wind an earthquake….and after the earthquake a fire, but God wasn’t in them;
and after those a gentle and quiet whisper.” As we mature as Christians, God will indefinitely use other
ways to speak to us, ways that are His and not ours. Before I left for the race I needed to hear a blunt and loud
call, now just a tad bit more mature He is stretching my faith and speaking to
me in a quiet whisper. You see, I
heard that whisper all along, but thought it couldn’t be God. I thought a big decision like this
should be announced with bells ringing…but where would the faith be in that at
this point in my life.
Hebrews says, “Without faith it is impossible to please
God.” I want God to stretch my
faith, I want to grow, even if it takes seasons of testing just like the one I
went through. At the end of the
day, God’s ways continue to be so much better than mine. He never promised us that this life
would be easy, but He did promise us that He would never leave us nor forsake
us. Thank you Lord for calling me to
this life…I want nothing short of a life of following hard after You.
The cutest little boy ever!!!!!!
