A nine hour bus ride through the night started our journey to Northern Uganda. We headed out with two pastors, Uche, who has been working in South Sudan and, Joseph, who works in Northern Uganda. Because of war, their paths crossed, and they are now working together. Both have a deep love for people and a desire to bring hope to the suffering and lost in Jesus’ name. When I say that we were blessed to go and minister alongside of them, it is quite the understatement.
My prayer for years has been for God to break my heart for what breaks His. And He has…He has given me compassion for the poor and suffering. He has given me a voice for those who don’t have one, and He has broken my heart for orphans over and over again. BUT…on this trip…He didn’t just break my heart, He shattered it!
We spent the first half of our week in a refugee camp near the South Sudanese border, visiting South Sudanese orphans who are also refugees. 133 children with no parents now call this place home. I have been to many orphanages, but none like this. It is dusty, and IT IS HOT. There are no buildings, no dorms, no schoolrooms, no kitchen, and no bathrooms. There is one small brick structure that is used for storing medicine. The children sleep in large white tents, and they eat outside. The cooking is done on an open fire under the only shade providing tree. They shower behind tarps using buckets and water that they must carry themselves. The bathrooms are holes in the ground.
Our first day there, Uche looked around and said to us, “This is life!” He was right. This was life. Life that most would never see or know. Life that was ugly and unjust, but for these children, this was life. Their clothes were dirty and torn…some were barefoot because they didn’t have shoes. They had to leave it all in South Sudan because life was more important than their things. And yet, they smiled and sang praises to God! Their smiles were contagious! Their laughter was also! Their singing sounded to me what I imagine heaven to sound like! Yes, This is life.
We broke out the nail polish the next day and painted nails for hours. The girls would go and scrape the polish off their nails and then come back to have them painted again. It was precious, and I loved every second of it! The girls were having fun, and so was I. Yes, This is life.
During rest time (the hottest part of the day) I decided to hang with the girls instead of resting. i found them in their tent, and they invited me in. The older girls spoke English well, so we sat around and talked. At first, they asked me silly questions, which was fun and entertaining for all of us.
Then they started telling me about life in the camp and how the tents they have now are much better than the one they had at their first site. The previous tent had holes in it and when the wind and rain would come, parts of the tent would blow away. They remembered how scared they were as they huddled together under dripping wet blankets. All I could think was…This can’t be life! They’re only children.
Then one of the girls, aged 14 or 15, decided to share her story! She has a younger sister who is sitting with us as well. I learned that they are orphans because her dad came home one day and killed their mother and sibling and tried to kill them, but they hid. He killed himself, so they were brought to live in the orphanage. An orphanage that they then had to flee because fighters were coming through villages burning things down and killing people.
Her story prompted another girl to speak up and share. Her mother was poisoned to death, and her father was shot and killed. As she finished, the memory was too much to bare. She buried her face in her hands, and she sobbed! The other girls didn’t speak at all. They sat silently with solemn stares knowing and understanding her heartache.
I am literally suffocating…not from the heat (although it is almost unbearable) but from the heartache that hung in the air. What do you say to a child who has lost her parents and then must flee to save her on life? WHAT CAN YOU SAY? Words do not come! All I could do was move to the bunk she was sitting on and wrap my arms around her and hold her as she cried! I couldn’t speak, so I prayed. I prayed God would comfort her and heal her broken heart! We sat there in silence; both of us in tears!
My heart shattered, over and over, as one by one, they shared! My mom, older brother and sister were poisoned and my dad was shot and killed. My younger sister and I were taken to the orphanage. Can you pray for her because she has Hepatitis B? With tears welling up in her eyes, she looks desperately at her sister sitting across from her. We gather around her sister right then, and we pray!
Another told of her mother coming home to find that her father had hung himself. Her mother had a breakdown and sent her to live with her uncle who was a pastor. Then one day a gang showed up and stabbed her uncle in the chest. In her words, “It split his heart in two, and blood came pouring out. He died because they could not stop the bleeding!”
These are children! Children who just 30 minutes before were laughing and asking me if I carry water on my head in America. I have no words…only prayers and tears! God bring comfort and healing to these girls and peace to their country! Y’all this is life…it’s not mine, and it’s not yours…but it is life! It is their life…and as hard and horrifying as it sounds, it is their reality! With all my shattered heart, I ask you to pray for them!
I’ve been trying to write this blog for almost a week, but I kept struggling to find the words. So please, give me grace. Their stories are so much more than what I can put into words! Their pain unthinkable! Their suffering unimaginable! Their loss unbelievable! But their JOY…their joy was uncontainable! When they would sing, they overflowed with it! I sat in awe watching them as they rejoiced and sang praises to their King…their Father! I am forever changed by these girls and this place!
Love to all of you,
Taryn
