I am currently sitting in a tropical outdoor cafe listening to Christmas music, and trying to figure out how to start a blog when so much has happened since my last update. I could tell you so many stories of how I have seen tears of joy, sorrow, redemption, fear and even laughter. I have prayed for a mother at a mass grave who lost all three of her children in the Typhoon and wept as she told me she felt the Holy Spirit’s peace for the first time in a year. I have embraced a sobbing young girl who stood amidst a crowd of people at the commemoration event with bubbles flying around, music blasting, and children playing and told us that it was her birthday and that she had spent it afraid and floating in the water during the storm last year. I have run around playing duck-duck-goose with children at youth group, epically failed at crab walking, picked up and carried children who clung to me at feedings, laughed, cried, sung, danced, and been brought to my knees in surrender.
It’s hard to explain what it’s like to be on the Race. There are good and hard days, but we are always looking to grow and learn from our experiences. We have feedback every night with our teams where we encourage one another and call out anything that we need to work on or grow in. There is a culture of intentionality in the way we speak to each another, engage with the community, and in the way everyone is looking to bring out the best in the people around us. That said, we’re human and there are days where we get frustrated, or aren’t sure how in the world we’re supposed to communicate so openly when it doesn’t always feel natural. We are constantly pushed to address parts of our hearts or personalities we don’t like, and it puts us in a perpetual state of vulnerability. It brings a whole range of reactions. That’s what’s so amazing about it. This is where grace happens. We support one another through prayer, a listening ear, and by seeking to love like Christ–without condemnation. These people have become my brothers and sisters. We are a family, and I am so grateful for each one of them.
Some days take me completely by surprise. After the commemoration we took a couple days off with our ministry hosts and went to Sambawan Island. On our way back we stopped in a coastal town for lunch. I was walking with Nicola looking for a place eat (she’s 23, Australian, runs the ministry site in Tacloban, has the Lord’s heart for the Philippines, and became an awesome friend over the last two months). I looked down the street and saw Will looking around for someone and when he spotted me he basically ran to tell me he saw two girls by the vans signing to one another. I had talked to him about my brother Trenton who is Deaf and he had literally gone out of his way to make sure I had a chance to talk to these girls. We walked back over to where they were and I was amazed to find they knew American Sign Language. There are different versions of sign language, and I was ecstatic we actually knew the same one. We chatted for a while and I introduced them to some people on the squad and told them about the World Race and our heart for serving the people here. They opened up and told me about their families. Raed and Will joked that it was the easiest conversation I had had with a Filipino since we arrived.
I was overjoyed after talking with these two girls and I instantly loved them. As I was getting back in the van they ran up and asked me for my Facebook page. I gave them my information and I felt nothing but joy and incredible peace as we drove away. On the way home to The Lighthouse I remembered a conversation I had with my friends last April. We were coming to the end of our senior year and they asked me what my dream job would be if I could do absolutely anything. My answer surprised me. I would do ministry at universities for the Deaf and lead teams to orphanages in closed countries where Deaf children have been given up by their families. I had a list of places I wanted to visit in the back of my mind and hadn’t even realized it. After talking to the two girls at the port town I understood that it wasn’t a passing idea, but a ministry God has really placed on my heart. It makes me nervous, but my excitement far outweighs my fear. I have an incredible sense of peace and purpose in it. I had been planning on taking classes to become an ASL interpreter when I got home and now I know that this plan goes far beyond wanting to communicate better with my brother. I want to share the love of Christ with everything I have, be it actions, words, facial expressions, movement–I want to reflect him in the very way I communicate. Who knew when I switched my major to Communication Studies in college it could ever lead to this?
God has placed this passion for Deaf ministry in my life and I won’t ignore it. That said, I am where I am now for a reason. These last few weeks God has given me a confidence I didn’t even know I was lacking. He is showing me what it looks like to walk boldly in the gifts he has given me without fear of where it may lead.
I came into the Race trying to mentally prepare myself for uncertainty and discomfort, I never expected to find indescribable joy and freedom. There is so much more to come, and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for our squad as we come into Swaziland. Please be praying for us as we go through team changes and get ready for Africa. Debrief has been a crazy few days, and so much encouragement has been brought to us in this time. I have an amazing family in Raed, Zach, Kylie, Will, and Kaitlyn. We fought to see one another grow and really dove into what God had for us in the Philippines. Now we are about to learn entirely new lessons and extend what we have learned from each other to our new teams. We have become individuals who choose joy, seek to love unconditionally, fight for one another’s growth, pursue intentionality, love God with abandon, and commit to vulnerability for the sake of growth. I love them so much and can’t wait to see how much more we grow and learn moving forward. We concluded our last meeting as team Riverbound with peace knowing there is so much more to learn, and so much more to give.
Last night we received our new teams and I will be leading an all girls team with Kaitlyn, Taylor, Ariel, Lexi, and Jamie 😀 They are already choosing to go all in with the team and I can’t wait to grow beside them these next three months. The squad leaders asked us to pick a name for our team that reflects what we aspire to become in Africa.
We are Limitless.
