I have now been home from training camp five days and have seen how easy it is for me to fit right back into the puzzle I call my routine. But how can I fit. My heart is changing. Camp stripped me of all stone on my heart and had me taste brokenness in the presence of the Lord.
I have always seemed to be pretty obedient to the Lords call in my life, but in the back corner of my mind was a voice of doubt. The doubt was not always there, but would arise only in season when the Lord was very quiet. I didn’t know what to do with this silence. I always kept persevering through, but deep down was frustrated at understand the presence of the Holy Spirit in me. Am I alive in the Spirit? What does that even look like? Why has the Holy Spirit been on the back burner of the trinity in my life?
It was these last couple week at camp that I declared that I AM ALIVE IN THE SPIRIT! The Lord showed me that even in the times of His silence; He is just as powerful and present. The Spirit came up me like the “whisper of a dove” as Ron Walborn would say. This whisper was enough to show me that all along in my doubt, the Lord was faithful. I’m beginning to look back on some of those moments in my life where I ask God “Where are you?” And He answers “Right within you.”
Throughout my life, the Spirit has given me courage and boldness to speak his name. But I am so very excited to see how He is going to come upon me next year. Maybe in a whole new way but maybe will continue to be in a whisper of a dove. Either way the Spirit is powerful within me. This is the beauty of our Lord. Even a whisper overcomes all.
May I declare in this routine I live in that I AM ALIVE IN THE SPIRIT! And may the Spirit shake the people within that routine.
