I’m reclining in my father’s leather chair. The leather is soft and broken in, it smells like him. I hear light chatter and footsteps overhead as my mother, father and youngest brother ready themselves for a square dance tonight. Spicy and sweet barbeque my mother made is filling my stomach to the brim. With the garden tended to, the chickens put up in the coop and my other brother not yet arrived back home, I had a few minutes to myself to relax and take in the essence of my parent’s house and soak in gratefulness for a life that is so full.
I am so very blessed.
It is in these quiet, everyday moments that bliss is so apparent for me; that my soul is overflowing with thanksgiving. Some find it only on a vacation or only during boon times and prosperity, some never find or see it.
I try to look for the tiny miracles.
Learning how to hold a chicken, listening to my mother’s instruction on how to make it slumber for a few minutes. It’s a smile, or a hug. Sometimes it’s typing this with a Guitar Hero controller strapped to your back while little brother checks the dryer between each song we play for the status of his not-yet-dry pants. Sometimes it’s the lemon cookie that mom just gave us two permission to indulge in.
There is so much to be grateful for.
This gift of insight became something I was aware of daily after my admittance to the World Race. I suddenly found hot showers a daily pleasure, as well as the ritual of making a steaming quad espresso, waking up to my cat purring a contented “Good morning.” I’m keeping my definition of what constitutes happiness open, and working to appreciate every small moment. I have faith that cultivating this will help me overseas. Hope may be very hard to find when confronted with such suffering, and it will be then that the smallest moment may contain a seed of joy that I might be able to share with my squad as well as the people around us.
One last word about what is filling my life with gratitude. My sponsors have lifted me up immensely; I’m about 25-30% of the way to being fully funded in addition to having Heaven rung with prayers on my behalf and help with everything from borrowing equipment to setting up a website. I’m so used to being so self-sufficient. This initially uncomfortable feeling of reliance on others to help fill my need resulted in the unexpected blossoming of deep gratitude towards those that are helping me in so many varied ways. I am so deeply grateful for how much my friends are sacrificing for me to be able to go on this ministry trip. Words cannot express how my heart sings with love and thanks for each and every one of you. You’re helping me find small moments of hope and joy in places that are so far removed from it.
Much love,
T
P.s. Little brother and I rocked out lead guitar and bass on the Dead Kennedy’s “Holiday in Cambodia.” I had to smile. I don’t need a vacation holiday there to find joy, hope, love and moments of gratitude for my surroundings, but I will find it in Cambodia, somewhere.
