Weapons are necessary for battle

Two nights ago Josh and I were walking down the street and we stumbled across this homeless man cowering in the dark corner behind a wall at the local grocery store.  Josh had just bought a package of lemon wafers and decided to climb over the wall and give the guy some of his cookies which transformed this mans bitter face into a huge smile.  Seeing the mans reaction Josh gave him even more of the cookies and then just decided to give him the whole package.  We went home feeling good about the smile we left on this mans face and saying that we would continue to buy food for him and drop it off every night on our way home.  

Well tonight we did just that.  Josh, Gabo and I bought 3 beef tacos and brought them to the man who was now seemingly asleep with a tarp covered over him.  I saw him move and declared in excitement, “We have some food for you!”  The man without hesitation uncovered his face and sat up abruptly to receive the gift we had brought for him, once again with a big grin.  But, what happened next is a little tricky to explain.  

Gabo said to him in Spanish, “this food is from God.”  And, at the name of the Lord the man threw the food into the middle of the street and threw his body back against the wall behind him while at the same time he began to talk really loudly.  Just so you can get the total picture it is about 11:00 in the evening and it is really dark and quiet outside except for a few random drunks stumbling by.  I am overcome by this extreme presence of evil and fear creeps in.  There was such confusion and I was not sure if Josh and Gabo realized what was going on, and I shared with them that the man began manifesting evil as soon as the Lords name was spoken.  They felt the evil as well but had not realized the timing and new they needed to pray against this evil force.  

I knew that I had the authority to rebuke the demonic in this man and so I began praying, but not getting too close.  The presence of evil was so thick and it covered the streets like a thick blanket.  My body could feel the evil that was haunting the man.  The closer I got to the man the more prevalent the evil got.  I  stood and prayed at the corner not wanting to get too close.  Josh and Gabo during this time are both praying as well and Gabo is trying to understand what the man is saying, but even he is having trouble because he was speaking Spanish and some other language he did not recognize.  The man continued to loudly spout off words as Gabo and Josh stepped closer to the man and he moved farther away from them at one point even running across the street.  During this time I am now getting frustrated and wondering, “Where are you God?”  and “Why aren’t you showing up?”  Next, I came closer  and began to sing worship songs as I knew that if the Lord’s presence was there that the enemy could do nothing but flee.  Soon after a man came up with complete authority and told the man basically  “Shutup or I will call the police.”  So he was silenced and crawled back under his tarp.  

Josh, Gabo and I sat on the street a little ways off and prayed for this strange man.  We so desperately wanted this man to be free of the evil spirits within him and to know the love of Christ.  I prayed as tears streamed down my face.  Some tears for the man and my deep compassion for him.  Some tears because I believed God would show up and deliver this man and I did not see that happen.  Some tears for not understanding what had just happened.  And, some tears for the fear of this evil I had just seen manifested on the street in the body of this broken homeless man.  

Those of you who know me know that I cower at scary movies.  I can’t watch them.  Anytime I watch a movie that has any type of evil in it I store the evil pictures and scenes in my mind and I can’t get them out of my head for a long time.  If I think about it now I can recall complete movie scenes that haunt me to this day.  Actually seeing evil in real life is even scarier.  I can easily sense the presence of evil and darkness in places and people, but I never thought I had the gift of discernment on account of my fear.  Even earlier tonight I sat at Solomon’s porch talking to Gabo and he explained that he saw the enemy in the face of his friend and looked the demonic straight in the face with confidence and prayed for deliverance.  I looked at him and said, “I am so glad that you have that gift, because I could not handle it.” God in his foreknowledge must of thought that was ironic.  

As Josh and I walked home I cried and I cried.  When we got home it was so strange because it was so late yet my teammates were all awake.  I knew that Brian had the gift of discernment of spirits and wanted to share this with him for wisdom as well as the rest of the team so that they could cover me in prayer.   They began trying to help me understand why I was crying and in the midst of my tears I was able to brokenly express that I was timid and afraid in the presence of this man.  My team spoke truth over me and told me that I had the gift of discernment and they began to pray and rebuke the fear in me.  

During this time of prayer a peace came over me and I realized God had been trying to give me this gift and I was not accepting it.  I was content in the fact that others had this gift.  But, I am no longer content.  I am no longer bound by fear.  I know I will never be strong enough on my own, but that I have been given every weapon necessary to fight this battle with victory.  I know I am an intercessor and a WARRIOR and I am called to deliver and expel evil.  I am called to be a light and to shine that light in the darkest places, releasing and restoring life.  I have now opened up the gift that God has given me and I have accepted it.