This is the ONE thing I was afraid of, “getting sick.” And, here it is not even a month into the WR. I am sitting here miserable, sweating and screaming inside as my head feels like it weighs twenty pounds. My body is so weak and I am breaking.
This is the first time I have been sick in over three years. Yeah, even saying the word s….sick is difficult for me. I didn’t want to admit I was sick as I have been fighting the title with stubbornness. I have been fighting even admitting it for two reasons. One is that I am a positive person and I believe that everything is mental. The other reason is why I am writing this blog. Now, I can’t say, “I have not been sick in over 3 years.” I found pride in the fact that I took care of my body by exercising and eating healthy (ok, maybe I am over the top with this – organic food and plenty of supplements). I even brought about 5 pounds of vitamins including probiotics, super green foods, black elderberry, grapefruit seed extract, oregeno oil, and black walnut with me on the trip. But, none of my healthy and natural remedies have worked. And, now I admit humbly that I am sick.
I believe God is trying to teach me something in this. I am physically broken and in this state I am realizing that God wants me emotionally and spiritually broken as well. I have pride in me that needs to be cut out. God is reminding me yet again that I can’t do anything by striving and relying on remedies and my self. Please pray for my recovery and that above all that I would learn the lesson that God has for me to learn through this sickness. Pray that all PRIDE in me would be relinquished and cut out. I want to be pruned even if it hurts.
