Here is my Nepal blog at last. I apologize for the tardiness of it, but due to the nature of our ministry last month the opportunity to access internet did not present itself often. Now that I look back over the month my only regret is that I will not be able to express in words the feelings that I experienced while in that wonderful country. As many of you know, Nepal was a country that God laid on my heart over a year ago and was one of the primary attractions for me in regards to this particular World Race route. Indeed, had it not been for the unexplainable passion I possessed for the unreached people of Nepal, I might not have given this route (or even the WR as a whole) a second thought. But God allowed the passion and the country to intersect on month 6 of my crazy journey. As I already mentioned, I have no eloquent words or perfect summery to captivate you and make you a part of my month. But what I can do is try to explain where my heart is at in the aftermath of my time in that beautiful country.
During the first 5 months of my Race I anticipated what February would bring. I tried to hold loosely the expectations that I had for Nepal, but my ever increasing excitement for month 6 never faded. As you may remember, I entered Nepal in a new role on a new team, so everything was fresh and promising as I stepped off the plane in Kathmandu with a clean slate. Not only was I on a new team, but our team was also scheduled to live and work with 2 other teams on the squad during our time there. It felt like a brand new Race. I wasn’t a team leader, I wasn’t well acquainted with anyone on my new team yet, I was going to be working with other teams for the first time… and I was in my most anticipated country of the year. God had clearly been speaking rest and renewal to me in the last few months and this was definitely it.
As with anything new, there was a lot to learn about where I was at and where I was headed in this new season. The first several days were spent remembering how to lose control and allow God to move. In our first village, where we spent a week and a half, I began to get up and have Jesus time while watching the sunrise. During these quiet times my prayers would cry out asking the Lord to make His Spirit come alive, once again, in my heart. I wanted so much this new season of physical rest to also be one of spiritual revival in me. Some mornings the Lord would open my eyes to see Him in a new way and I would be overwhelmed with joy and start dancing on the rooftop. Other times I received nothing more than the simple words: “be still and know.” In those moments I would find Him in a different way as I sat and pondered things that were beyond my understanding.
After the first week our schedule became a much faster pace; and as we moved quickly between the next 2 villages my rooftop sunrises came to an end. However, the things God had spoken to me in those times remained lodged in my heart and started to draw out the man I was created to be. I know for a fact that God has great things in store for me; things that will be done both through me and to me. But before He could reveal the next step I had to know who I was… who God says I am. He says I am His son. I am His beloved. I am a co-heir with Christ. This identity check was essential and a prequel to my last blog about the boldness God has called out of me here in Africa. Before I can step up to the plate and faithfully utter His words I have to be sure of who I am. Abba has gifted me to support leaders, and we are all leaders (See: Lessons in Leadership); but to hold someone else up I have to establish a firm foundation myself. The foundation is in my core identity and that identity is completely immersed in who Christ says I am.
I entered Nepal with expectations. Did I leave with the answers I was looking for? No, but I left with the answers I needed. In Matthew 7:8 we are assured that “whoever asks receives,” but we are never told that we will get exactly what we wanted. The passage goes on to say that our Father in heaven will provide “good gifts” to those who ask because He knows how to take better care of us than we even know ourselves. Our Lord loves us so much that He only knows how to give us good gifts, those gifts just might not be wrapped the way we expected them to be. That is what I learned in Nepal, my identity is in Christ; I leave expectations at the door and allow His Spirit to guide me through.
Will I go back to Nepal someday like I had been hoping I would? Perhaps. I did love the country and the people there. That being said, I have no idea when it would be or what I would do. For all I know God could direct me to Africa or America for that matter. But one thing is certain, I will not miss what God has for me as long as I am sitting and listening to His voice. When we open up and receive who our Papa says we are and allow that identity to direct the course of our life, we can’t go wrong. I have no idea what my future holds, not even a clue. Isn’t that what it’s all about though? Living spontaneously in the Spirit and allowing Him to orchestrate every move we make. My life is going to be epic; not because I know what it holds, but because I know Who holds it. I love my life! 🙂
One Day at a Time,
Tanner Hubbard
