In the (hopeful) near future I will go back and think of something to share about my last month in Nepal. But for now I will catch you up on what’s going on in my life since we switched continents. As most of you know, I’ve been in Asia for 5 of the last 6 months and I know that from my sofa chair at home Asia, Africa, and Australia are all just continents on the “other side” of the world. But they are extremely different… in every way. Obviously I expected the geography and language to change; but there are other things, much deeper things, that have shifted in my spiritual climate as well. Something about Africa is stirring up a spiritual storm in my own life and it’s exciting!
Last week my squad arrived in Uganda for our month 6 debrief. We flew from Kathmandu into Entebee, Uganda to spend a week before busing to Rwanda to start month 7 of our Race. While at debrief God stirred in my heart words to share with people, both individually and squad wide. This wasn’t anything new in itself, I learned 2 years ago that I have the gift of Teaching and it’s something that has been cultivated in great ways on this Race. But, what was different this week was that God wouldn’t let me run from bold words He had given me to say. So often I get words that I explain away or dwell on for some time before discarding them… not this time. These words were so heavy on my mind that I couldn’t engage in anything else until I shared them; the Lord wasn’t allowing me to be apathetic anymore.
It struck me, I had been acting like a passive/apathetic Christian for months now. Somehow I had reasoned in my own mind that as long as I shared a good or “bold” word every now and then, I was exercising my spiritual gift, and that was good enough. But it WASN’T. I’ve been treating my gift like an accessory that I simply add to my array of “Christian” characteristics so that I can get through my day feeling good about myself. That is not who I am. The man God created me to be is bold and passionate and doesn’t stop to ask questions when Abba asks me to speak His words. How is it that as a mortal man I sometimes feel it necessary to explain the situation to the Almighty? I found myself doing that last week when He gave me words that I knew would be offensive to some.
He spoke again: “Tanner, these words will be offensive… My Truth always offends the flesh and as long as you are walking in the flesh you will be offended.” So I had no choice, God was calling us into greatness and who am I to decided how that happens? I shared feedback to those from whom I had been keeping it because I realized that I didn’t love the people around me if I wasn’t giving them the opportunity to grow. But Daddy wasn’t finished with me yet; He reminded me again that He had entrusted words of boldness in me that needed to be shared with the entire group that night.
After many battles in my head, I finally stood up… although I wasn’t sure it was the ideal time. I knew what I had to say would change the mood of things… it was a rebuke in which the encouragement was hard to see for some. As the Spirit spoke through me I could already hear the constructive feedback that I would receive. But that same Spirit reminded me that we weren’t here to walk on eggshells and that the Truth was going to offend those of us who were walking in the flesh. After the first 30 seconds I couldn’t have cared less what people thought of me up there as I paced back and forth pouring out the passion that had been inside of me for 2 days. I had been deceiving myself for so long about the gift God has given me that once I accepted who I was in Christ nothing felt more natural than for me to be in front of a crowd allowing the Spirit to speak through me.
Was this calling for my life somehow bound up and unattainable until I got to Africa? It wasn’t. But, had I been a poor steward of the life God had given me to live? I had. Thankfully we serve a Savior who is full of grace and overflowing with compassion. The past doesn’t define me, it only refines me. My future is His and I am openly declaring that my voice will be an instrument of His will. The boldness He has given me is not to be explained away or argued with… He doesn’t need me to spend the next 5 months analyzing the situation. He only wants me to surrender my pride and love people enough to speak bold words into their lives. Will I receive “constructive feedback”’? Probably. Will I look like a fool? Almost certainly. Does it matter? Absolutely not. It’s time for Africa.
Unleashed,
Tanner Hubbard
