Hello! I’m going to tell you a little bit about my testimony, and how I started my walk with God.
I grew up hearing about God, but all the knowledge I had of my Creator was only on the surface. Not in my heart. I had a great childhood, but Christ wasn’t the center of my family, which eventually led to my parents separating when I was 12.
After my parents divorced, every year I grew further and further away from God. Depression took over my life. It eventually came to a point in 2013 where I had no interest to live anymore. I hated my depression, but I couldn’t get rid of it. It’s like it had become a part of me. For years I had been running away from God, but I heard Him off in the distance calling for me, begging me to come back to Him. I refused though.
I couldn’t understand how God still loved me after all the things I’d done and the person I had become. So I refused His love, because I felt like I was unlovable and not good enough.
There came a point when I knew if I kept running from God I would end up losing my life because of depression. After a series of events, I humbled myself before Him and stopped running away. I buried myself in His Word and prayer. He was the only thing that could break my chains of depression, and that He did. I understood that I was lovable, but that I wasn’t good enough. That’s why He sent His Son though, because none of us can be “good” enough.
I began a relationship with Him, and then came the call to Africa.
I was riding home from work one night listening to a song. I’d heard the song hundreds of times before, but this time as the chorus was playing “take your flame, ignite the world” I felt the Spirit fall on me. I’d never felt anything like it before. Tears started pouring out of my eyes and I could only think of one thing, missions..
Missions was something I never really even considered before, but now God told me to go. I wasn’t obedient at first, I was caught up in MY kingdom and how I could serve MYself. God wouldn’t have it though. After various strings of events and divine appointments, I couldn’t run from it. I eventually applied to go to Swaziland for 3 months.
I arrived back in the states April 27th. Words can’t even begin to explain how God changed me on that trip. I fell in love with Him above all else. I truly understand what it means to be a Christian now. A huge part of myself died over there, my hopes, my wants, dreams, emotions, and were replaced by His. I feel like a completely different person. I also fell in love with missions. God gave my broken heart a reason to beat. All I want to do is serve Him!
