The busyness of summer has slowed, the rain has brought work to just shy of a halt, the fundraiser is over and reality has smacked me in the face. In just 11 short days, I leave the place I have called home for the past two years, the home of my childhood. Over the last few days, I have often found the words of a country song running through my head, “You’re gonna miss this. You’re gonna want this back…”
I’m going to miss my church. I’m going to miss my family and ones who aren’t family, but feel like it. I’m going to miss coworkers. I’m going to miss some fantastic friendships, both old and new. I’m going to miss the amazing views. I’m going to miss the mountains and the snow that covers them. I’m going to miss my home.
But then I push through that somber reality into a completely different, new, exciting reality. I’m going to travel the world! I’m going to minister to the nations! I’m going to live with complete strangers who will, most likely, become some of the most important people in my life! I’m going to be pushed to depend on God more than I’ve ever had to before. That’s exciting….and terrifying!
It’s intimidating to think about walking into training camp, into a group of 50 people, where I don’t know a soul. It’s tough to think about the end of each month when I’ll have to say a forever goodbye to those kids I’ll work with in a given country. It’s scary to consider how inadequate I am to minister to human trafficking victims. It’s downright terrifying to pictures some of those bugs I may encounter!
BUT It’s liberating to acknowledge the One who goes before me. The One who knows that in the middle of those 50 people I don’t know are, at least, a few who will push me to be more than I ever thought possible. The One who will give me the grace to attach myself to those kids, even if it’s just for 30 days. The One who can minister to others and meet their needs through me, in spite of me. We sang this song in church on Sunday and it seems so fitting:
“He is able, more than able
To accomplish what concerns me today.
He is able, more than able
To handle anything that come my way.
He is able, more than able
To do much more than I could ever dream,
He is able, more than able
To make me what He wants me to be.”
How awesome is it that I don’t have to do or be anything special to be used by an Almighty God to change the lives of humans all over the world!? All I have to be is willing. Willing to be used. Willing to go.
So, here I go.. On October 3rd, I will begin my trek of driving 3,000 plus miles. On October 15th, I will go to a training camp full of strangers who are destined to be close friends. On October 26th, I will begin work at a job that God dropped in my lap. On January 7th (or 8th) I will fly to the other side of this world to change and be changed.
I am sad to leave, but excited to go. I am timid, but curious. I am hesitant, but expectant. I am ready.
