Believe it or not, 11 months ago I wrote my first blog about getting on the airplane and preparing for the unknown. Every month God showed me something new about His infinite Love and Grace. In the mean time, however, I constantly questioned Him. (As if I had a right to.)
“Why did this natural disaster destroy people’s livelihoods? They no longer have a way to work and their homes have been destroyed!”
“Why am I waking up in a burning hot tent and seeing 220 red bug bites on my legs, eat nasty food and working like a dog? If we weren’t here building this orphanage, where would the precious kids live, who would love them? What are you thinking?
“Why are people dying of AIDS so rapidly? How do the people who have only a tent and food still sing praises to you? Why were we held at gunpoint and robbed! We were worried about all of our important things. Why were they taken?!!?”
“God, You know I can handle only a little at a time; Bugs, -sure. Living without water and electricity, -maybe. No privacy, -for short amounts of time, Torturous heat, -maybe a bit. Stepping in and around hot and smelly cow dung, -not a fan, but okay. Mice and rats, -not for long before I really lose it. So why all of this for 5 weeks?!?
Why is my heart breaking for your precious little babies with AIDS in these orphanages? Why are their mothers prostitutes and still too poor to take care of them? This tender crayon manicure by a 4 year old sitting on my lap so much better than anything! Why don’t they have someone to love them? Why is a life of fighting AIDS and abandonment their future?
The questions seemed endless then I heard Him say , “Here is all you need to know now: Philippians 4:19 “I will supply all of your needs according to My riches and glory …”
The desperation and hopelessness I have seen is beyond words. If I have learned anything this year, it is that God always provides in tough situations even when it looks like He isn’t there. In every one of these circumstances He has provided. Whether it was in a form of sending other people (us) to help or developing strength of character, creating more dependence on Him rather than possessions or just learning to trust that He is in control and not us. He ALWAYS provided and He always will.
Home looks so different now. I feel like a stranger in a familiar land. Happy to be here and also challenged with the issues facing this nation now. It seems like the end of the world with the Big Three in jeopardy. Seemingly everyone is loosing their jobs and health problems, the list goes on (as you may know personally).
PS.
A Great Big THANK YOU to all who gave and supported this mission! Your love and generosity is more than I could ever imagine and you have made a difference in the world!!!!! I pray that God will bless you 1,000 times over for all you have done to progress His kingdom on earth. J
Love and blessings,
Tammy
Let’s keep in touch!
