“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26
Last week, I started going to a bible study called Eikon Discipleship. In all honesty, I was eager to begin preparing myself for the upcoming year on the mission field, but I never realized how uncomfortable I would feel in a group geared toward vulnerability, love, and truth. After all, I’ve got issues and “I can handle it.”
Friday evening, we all met up at church, and from there took two “mom” vans, as any family would do, to our destination for the weekend. A family from the church was away and left us their luxurious house. Luxury is an understatement as their backyard included a tennis court, a pool and hot tub, a tire swing, a baseball pen, and a ton of space. It was the perfect home away from home for us girls.
As soon as I met up with the girls, I felt uncomfortable. I was not in the mood to be around people. I had a tough week and I had some reservations toward God. I just didn’t know how to love these girls, and was definitely not feeling like I wanted to. My wall of defense was high.
The first night, we gathered together for a time where our leaders shared their testimonies with us. I had expectations, but my expectations were shattered as soon as our first leader began talking. Our leaders were courageous, strong, and brave as they set the bar high for us girls to feel welcome, and unashamed. After they shared their testimony’s, it was announced that us girls needed to prepare to share our testimonies the following day. We all then headed off to sleep. That night I could not sleep at all! I knew God was calling me to go deeper with him, but that meant shining light on some dark places in my past that were so painful! I was afraid.
The following night, we all gathered together to share our testimonies. Let me just tell you, I was blown away by the transparency, the vulnerability, the beauty, the pain, and the peace in the room. We were on holy ground and the holy spirit was very present with us while we shared our stories of redemption. Through tears and laughter, we found our walls of defense were crumbling down and our compassion for one another grew a hundredfold. Within what seemed like minutes, hours had gone by. It was the most beautiful thing that I have ever been a part of. The words spoken between us women and our God will be forever cherished, upheld, and sacred.
The following morning, we went to church together as a group and pastor Doug began his sermon with a question. The question was, “Have you ever had a late night conversation that altered the course of your life forever?” Our small section began to giggle as we knew the holy spirit had prepared something special for us. The message was simply the gospel message and being in relationship with Jesus. He taught from John 3:1-21. For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, so that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned. Whoever does wicked things doesn’t come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so it can be clearly seen that his works have been carried out by God. Come into the light. You are not condemned. Look to Jesus, be exposed, be healed. Amen.
Jesus, thank you that the things that the enemy used against each of us for evil, to harden us against you, you have used to bring us closer to you.
I can only think of one word to describe our weekend together and that word is Holy.
Joyfully yours in Christ,
Tamara 🙂
