When I was in Morocco last year, God gave me a promise. As I sat on the rooftop of our Riad in Fez, I remember looking up to the sky and seeing flocks of black birds flying right above me. “You are freer than those birds.”
“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him then they are?” Matthew 6:26
A few days ago, as I was jogging with Shela to the beach near our place, there was a moment where I looked up, and as I looked up, I saw a flock of black birds flying across the sky. I remembered my time on the rooftop and what the Lord had shown me then.
Stepping into leadership, I immediately felt the weight of making sure my team had a place to stay every night. I knew that logistics was a struggle for me, but I made an effort to push through the uncomfortable to grow personally and, also, so that we would not be lacking in one of our basic needs, safety and security.
Despite how many hours I put into housing, the tears I cried from frustration, and the nail biting research, literally every single logistical plan I have made this past month has fallen through. Nothing has worked out the way that I wanted it to!
On El Camino, no matter how slow or how fast I walked, we were always provided a place to sleep. And, trust me, I walked fast to make sure it happened.
Before arriving to Morocco, I forfeited a lovely dinner with Laura, Alyssa, and Casey, to spend hours in front of a computer negotiating a price on housing. While in the train station, I received notification that our host cancelled the booking. In a last minute turn of events, we were able to find one person willing to take us in, all the way in a town north of the city we were supposed to be going to. This city is a city I had never even heard of before!
Last week, I spent hours looking into airbnb’s to stay with after we checked out of our apartment in the village. Yet again, God had other plans and we were offered to stay in a mansion by one of the members of our church. This is my second afternoon in this peaceful home of refuge.
It literally hasn’t mattered how much time I spent on something. God almost always had a different and better plan.
I weep because this morning I was asking God to show me what he wants from me during this season and all I was reminded of was that promise again. He didn’t give me anything new, but something he’d already spoken to me before.
“TRUST ME”, says the Lord.
I am learning to surrender all of my expectations and allow the Lord to direct my steps. I am learning that he has a plan for me and my team this month and all he’s asking of me is that I allow him to take care of me. To wait on him.
I surrender all, Lord.
