I wonder just what you initially thought when you read this
title…The F Word?
title…The F Word?
FAITH.
That’s what this is about, just to let the cat out of the
bag.
bag.
Really, its about my discovery of another aspect of that
word that we Christians throw around in every circumstance, commonly with no
actual reverence for what that 5 letter word actually means.
word that we Christians throw around in every circumstance, commonly with no
actual reverence for what that 5 letter word actually means.
For me, the realization of Faith is just now developing.
Saving faith, the belief in Jesus Christ, has been a part of me for several
years. But living like I’m someone who ACTUALLY believes, knows, understands,
and embraces the FACT that all the characteristics of the Lord that we read in
the Bible are true, well, that’s just now occurring to me: God is good,
God is Abba Father, God is provision, God is identity, God
is comfort, God is ALL.
Saving faith, the belief in Jesus Christ, has been a part of me for several
years. But living like I’m someone who ACTUALLY believes, knows, understands,
and embraces the FACT that all the characteristics of the Lord that we read in
the Bible are true, well, that’s just now occurring to me: God is good,
God is Abba Father, God is provision, God is identity, God
is comfort, God is ALL.
All these thoughts on this concept of faith have been
rattling around in this chaotic dome of my mind since training camp. I was
exposed to the truth that I have my own expectations (surely to be another blog
soon) and that, no big surprise here, I love to control my own life. I have
been stressing over how to raise support, how to see all my friends before I
leave, how to feel fulfilled, who makes me feel validated, etc. All of this
list making, worrying, and searching for my self worth in people requires zero
reliance on my savior. So, to continue a prayer I’ve been saying for a while
now, I have been asking the Lord to show me how to depend on Him and find
comfort in exactly who He is.
rattling around in this chaotic dome of my mind since training camp. I was
exposed to the truth that I have my own expectations (surely to be another blog
soon) and that, no big surprise here, I love to control my own life. I have
been stressing over how to raise support, how to see all my friends before I
leave, how to feel fulfilled, who makes me feel validated, etc. All of this
list making, worrying, and searching for my self worth in people requires zero
reliance on my savior. So, to continue a prayer I’ve been saying for a while
now, I have been asking the Lord to show me how to depend on Him and find
comfort in exactly who He is.
**Dear Tamara, be careful what you pray for.** 
Answer to this prayer:
Many many people in my life tend to ask 2 questions about
this race…
this race…
1.what if you don’t raise the money?
2. what will you do after?
Finally I have an answer to share. THIS IS NOT MY MISSION TRIP.
Therefore, the details are NOT MINE to plan. (pause for a sigh of relief)
This is God’s trip, these are His people He has created to
know Him who He loves and who He is going to reach in this next year. The words
me, I, or Tamara are not in that. Thankfully. This is ALL the Lord. Therefore, the support is ALL coming from Him. These are not things for me to worry about. He is revealing Himself as my great provider and as comforter while trying to figure out all of this.
know Him who He loves and who He is going to reach in this next year. The words
me, I, or Tamara are not in that. Thankfully. This is ALL the Lord. Therefore, the support is ALL coming from Him. These are not things for me to worry about. He is revealing Himself as my great provider and as comforter while trying to figure out all of this.
There is an ever present whisper that is steady and calm saying “trust me, wait on me, rest in me, I love you.” That may sound
bonkers to you, but yes, I have a voice in my head-it’s the Holy Spirit.
bonkers to you, but yes, I have a voice in my head-it’s the Holy Spirit.
All of this to say that maybe for the very first time, I’m beginning to understand faith, at least another part of it-with no doubts and a joyous peace
every time I think of the F word.
every time I think of the F word.
