My life has been lived on the edge, one step more and who knows how far I would tumble down to the end of me. I took pride in living this way, no matter how hard it was on me and the people that loved me. It was my identity, all I knew, it covered up all the pain and suffering that was buried deep inside me.
Now my “on the edge” lifestyle is still difficult but it is for the right reasons. I live on the edge in so many different ways. I don’t use drugs or alcohol anymore I live on the edge of what I can possibly do and expect the Lord to catch me when I jump In His name. Don’t get me wrong I do not temp the Lord my God but I do put myself in so many situations that I don’t know what I am doing or how I will do it. But I know who my God is. And I know what He has called me to. An abundant life, a great calling and a huge purpose. I finally after so many years am able to see what that enemy meant to hide from me.. That I am meant for something AWESOME! Starting with traveling around the world for the name of Jesus.
I step out in faith to activate Gods protection over me. I may not be the most prepared world racer and I am far from an eloquent presenter or even an organized fundraiser. To be honest a lot of the time I feel in over my head and have to fight off the feelings of NOT GOOD ENOUGH… Because that isn’t what my Father says about me.. I AM plunging head first into Gods perfect purpouse for my life whatever that is or whatever that looks like I am doing what God wants for me one step at a time.
The truth is I am not enough I can not raise the funds that I need…
I can not move hearts on my behalf or anyone else’s…
I am terrified to talk in front of large groups.
But God IS more than enough..
He lives in me.
Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!
If God is for me who can be against me?
That is why I am doing this . My weakness is made perfect in His strength.. the list of things I can not do don’t matter because my God is bigger then my can not list.. To be honest I don’t have a can not list anymore cause there is nothing I can not do and my God has called me to a lot.
I may be in over my head but Jesus is standing above the water holding out his hand and showing me how to walk with him. It is glorious to be in this spot. Hard because I am maxed out. Glorious because this is the spot that I get to sit back and watch my Lord move.
