control— this is a very common word in my vocabulary. i love control; i love having control of my life and i love living in a controlled environment. you probably read that sentence and thought “what in the world is this girl gonna do on the world race”. yes i realize that living in cambodia and thailand for a few months seems very… uncontrolled, but hear me out. the word control constantly spins through my mind; i struggle let go of my control. delegating is hard for me, i’m that girl in school who will do the entire group project by herself because it has to be done exactly how i want. so this made the idea of Gods will very difficult for me to grasp. even after being a christian for many years i wasn’t willing to lay my life in His hands. Senior year rolls around and i have it all planned out: i will go to washington and lee or UVA (with tons of scholarships) and I will study human biology. This is it, this is the dream, this is what i have worked all my life for, right? WRONG!!! these plans p l u m m e t e d to the ground. I was denied to both schools and my heart broke, how could this be?? this is what i have been praying for, this is the plan, how could God take this away from me?? this must be a mistake. After getting over the shock and disbelief I began to realize that my life had become centered around school and having a prestigious title and the Lord had fallen to the background. Now I lay here in my bed preparing for the WORLD RACE (wow what a true dream come true) and I get to go to Liberty University in the spring to not only get an academic education but to invest in my spiritual life as well. A year ago, or even 6 months ago, I would have never thought that any of this would be true.
The Lord knows i am not one to willing give up control, it was not until my ENTIRE plan fell apart that i was able to realize that i was thinking i could do life without God, without the author of the universe. His plan far surpasses anything i ever imagined.
if my plan would have worked out i would be color coordinating my duvet with my roommate, but luckily my plan failed and i am trying to find a sleeping bag that can pack to the size of a water bottle
life is crazy
