In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
For a majority of the race I had it in the back of my mind that when it was over I would go back to Texas. I wanted to keep an open mind to whatever God had for me but I wanted a back up plan. I’ve generally always had a back up plan to any plan I make in the event of it failing. ALWAYS have a plan. In a big way it was that I didn’t trust God to come through, I wanted to do things my way, and worry/logistics grained into my head to look at things mans way. I’m not the most patient person. I like to think that time is in my hands but it’s not. For instance when I left my job in North Dakota it was with the intent to let God lead me wherever he wanted me to go. I was his….but not really because in the back of my mind I thought I’ll travel around, see what he says, and in a few months I’ll be back in North Dakota. I had a sweet set-up waiting for me once I was done letting him lead. It was secure. During that travel time The World Race popped up, which I’d never even heard of and when I did I instantly shut it down. No way was I traveling for 11 months out of a backpack. I haven’t ever even done a mission trip before where I was out of my comfort zone for a bit. Then one day I sat down and applied for a July route. I applied for the July route because January seemed to far away. What would I do with all that time. Well God had a plan for that time and it was beautiful.
Here I am in month 10 of the race doing the same thing again. In month 8 we had a squad debrief, where the majority of it was focused around finishing well and post race. I had many ideas but still no clue. In which case I was directed to project searchlight which to me became another back-up plan to tell people at home if they asked questions and I was clueless. That month an opportunity opened up that I instantly shut down because it wasn’t in my time and I would have to trust God in a big way again. Well shortly later He brought it up. I figured I should just obey and see where He took it. I applied with the hope of getting into the earliest term possible. Sound familiar, right? I was doing it all over again. When I got the acceptance letter in September it was for July when I wanted January. My timing not his because I thought what would I possibly do with the 6 months before. It took a few weeks of battling in my head to accept the acceptance. I wasn’t fully committed yet and could still back out. Was this from God or was it all in my head? I don’t feel qualified. What if I miss something important…etc. Even in posting this I’m reluctant to show people my thoughts because of failure. Even so God called me to say YES in my devos, the talks, the reading, and the dream. If God said to go would you go? I’d like to think it’d become easier but I’m only human, a sinner, who will always need growth.
You might be thinking well what is this opportunity she’s talking about haha. It’s called G42, a leadership development in ministry. It will be 6 months long from the beginning of July to mid-December. It’s in Spain. I never even thought I would be overseas long-term. Just small trips, but God had something else in mind…and I can’t exactly stop him from leading me because I truly want it that way. Yes I have no idea what I’ll be doing once I’m home because I didn’t have a back-up plan for this scenario, but I’m trusting that God has a plan and he’ll lead me in the right direction. I know it’s not with a snap of the fingers and I’m done trying to plan my steps because in my head sometimes I still am. It all comes back to trust and not doubting Gods ways. James 1:6-“But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind”. Why so little faith? Faith requires obedience. If I am confident what can man do to me. Trusting in God wherever he leads even if at the beginning or the middle or the end things are hard. Perseverance will build character.
If you would like or interested to support this next venture you can donate here http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/donate or if you have questions just ask and I’ll gladly answer. Thank you to you all!
