Luke 17:6
With faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.
Faith is a word that seems so generic but yet it means so much. Faith is what keeps you going in what you believe in. Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”. Faith is what we should have but do we really have faith? or is it something we say but don’t walk out in. James 2:17, “Faith without actions is dead”. You can talk as much as you want to but when there is no action to it then it is nothing.
The word given to me for my month in Cambodia was faith but at the beginning I had no idea what that really meant. Maybe it was meant for my team as part of are ministry this month was door to door gospel in the countryside, but as time went on I realized just how much God was growing me in my faith with Him and faith in myself. Faith to trust in Him and walk confidently in what He has given me. Surprisingly I really enjoyed the door to door gospel. God showed and taught me so much in walking in trusting God with the words that he brought to mind and speaking them out to the people we encountered.
My biggest walk in faith was one of these such encounters. On the second day of ministry we were walking up to a house and walking in I heard God say ‘Get up and walk’. Hmm ok interesting. I found out that the man lying on the bed was crippled. His name is Chouey and he’s 24 years old. He had been working on a building two years ago when there was an accident, and he fell off and seriously injured himself. He could feel his legs but couldn’t walk and has spasms he can’t control. We prayed for him twice. Nothing changed. I decided right then and there that I would believe and trust in what I heard God say even as we walked on. What was I thinking I normally never really believe in those things always having a little doubt in the back of my mind. This time was different. Even as time and time again others raised doubts I instantly rebuked them in my head. Doubts have no place in anyones head no matter what situation your in. James 1:6, “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind”. As the month went on I regularly went to see Chouey, so long as I had a buddy I could go on seeing him everyday. As well as every week the whole group and pastor would go see him at least once if not twice. He had such joy and he loved when we came to visit him, as he never really moved from his bed. He was scared to go anywhere for fear of the bathroom, I’m sure among other things. I gave him a bible signed by everyone so that he could read about Jesus if he wanted to. I believed that him learning and reading would change his heart and his circumstances. As well as the continual love of Jesus shining through all of us. I knew Jesus was changing his heart as he came to church that second sunday with his mom and as he kept reading the new testament.
About two weeks later on the 23rd we all went to visit him and he gave his life to Jesus! I was ecstatic….maybe I should say something then as he was being baptized…throw the whole bucket of water on him and go crazy. I held back. I didn’t want to be crazy by myself and I wasn’t feeling it from anyone. In that moment though God taught me that I didn’t need my team or others to back me up. I didn’t need them for me to step out in my walk with God. All I needed was God. I needed to have faith in Him, in His strength, in His words. I needed to walk out in my faith for God. I’d been learning that all month in what I was reading, in ministry, and in what I was listening to. But He wanted me to walk fully in my faith and in all His glory. That all I needed was God and I was not alone. Do not be afraid for I am with you is said in the bible more times then anything else. Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the lord your God will be with you wherever you go”.
Three days later it was are last day of door to door ministry. I knew we would go see him, so the night before I was praying to God for Chouey and for myself. I knew it could be are last day seeing him, but that I could possibly see him on one of the days before we left. I had learned over the month to wait on God and to check my heart. I wanted it to be Him. I asked that if he wanted me to say something on that day that I would see Chouey sitting in his wheelchair. In my mind I was like thats a tall order because I have seen him at least 20 times over the month and he is always laying in his bed. Nothing is impossible for God. For as we walked up to his house he was sitting in his wheelchair. My heart started pounding. I had so many ideas with how things would come out and what God would do. As are visit came to an end we prayed over him and all I was thinking was I can’t walk away like we always do. I needed to speak and so I did. I spoke and asked him if he believed in Jesus and his power. That Jesus said he would walk again and to get up and walk if he believed. To take off the things that bind him and give them to Jesus. Get up and walk. Chouey perked up. The pastor, his mom, and him were talking. Then I was asked to help him straighten up. From then on all I saw was disaster. I in my mind thought he would literally just get up and walk. Instead he didn’t and I was devastated inside, but I composed myself as I knew he was looking at me. I couldn’t look away. I watched over and over again as he tried to lift himself up and out of the wheelchair. As the three of them were trying all these different techniques to put life into his legs. He never got up, and we walked away.
Once we were out of sight I wanted to cry. Why did I do that….why did I believe…I just looked like a fool in front of my team and pastor. God has changed me though and immediately when I got back I was reading the bible. That day I was still singing to God, even in the airport, and chose to believe. To believe in Him. To believe that even in that moment that I felt like such a failure that I wasn’t. God works in many ways and just because I didn’t see him in the way I wanted him to come doesn’t mean that he wasn’t there. God’s glory and his kingdom reigned on that day. It was so helpful that two of my teammates watched the whole thing as they were able to speak into what transpired earlier. In there eyes they saw hope in Chouey. They saw him come to life and his faith to grow. They saw how much I had grown in boldness, courage, and faith to walk out in obedience to God. God changed my life this month, but even more then that God changed the life of others. He is at work here in Cambodia. In a place I never really thought of until I came here. He has blessed this month so much and I’m thankful to have been a part of it.
P.S.-sorry i would have pictures but they won’t load. thank you for reading and God bless!
