I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel overwhelmed, drained, and defeated. Sometimes it seems like nothing is going right; like I have failed at every attempt I have made. I just want to crawl back into my bed, under my warm blankets, and just not. Not do anything. Not see anyone. Not try – just rest. Just for one day. But then I’m reminded of everything that needs to be done, and my family and friends I don’t spend enough time with as it is, and so I try.
And I fail, because I’m not rested.
And the cycle continues.
I’m not sure if it comes back to a pride issue, or a control issue, or a confidence issue, but I often feel like I must do it all. I must excel at everything I set out to do. And I must do it alone. I’m always happy to help others out, but when it comes to me, needing help is not an option. I must have at least a 3.5 GPA. I must master every new task at work, the first time. I must budget and plan and save and pay off debts and invest. I must be the kind of friend/daughter/employee that everyone deserves, all the time. I must not fail.
I set unrealistically high expectations for myself, and condemn myself when I can’t meet them. So I end up feeling defeated and overwhelmed.
Yet, every time I feel overwhelmed and defeated, God always reminds me of His love, His grace, and His sufficiency. He has to scream it at me over, and over, and over, because it just doesn’t stick.
I will lose battles. I am not perfect. I will fail. I am not enough.
Jesus has won the war. Jesus is perfect. Jesus will not fail me. Jesus says I am enough for Him, and He is more than enough for me.
So, my friends, on a day when I woke up feeling defeated, when I woke up feeling overwhelmed, when I realized I have to pick up my sword and shield and fight another battle, and didn’t have the energy to, the Champion of Heaven made my battles His battles. He reminded me of the words He spoke to a group of people thousands of years ago, and is still speaking to us, to me, today: “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.”
So for the next few hours, I rest. The next battle will be here soon enough. But God is giving me a time to be still, and remember that He’s got it all in control.
My friends, be still and know.
