feeling pretty ordinary.
My instant coffee sometimes brings my spirits up. Especially the 3 in 1 stuff here in Romania! MMmmm, it hits the spot.
But I don’t always wake up feeling super fly. And I certainly have never woken up feeling like P-Diddy. Every day is a constant battle it seems to walk in the truth; to acknowledge that I’m a broken mess, without defining myself by my mess. I’ll be honest, most days I wake up forgetting the truths that God has already spoken over me. I find myself wondering—
“What on earth am I doing here? I am so little, so incapable. I have nothing to offer my team, our ministry, our contact, even God”.
I want to be honest with you, whoever you may be (a family member, friend, old professor, co-worker or someone I’ve never even met). I want you to know that this is the real me; the World Race has not been easy for me and I am not always on a spiritual high feeling like…P-Diddy? Many days, I wake up feeling very inadequate, and lost. This is a really challenging and difficult self journey as well as a year of mission work. Being on a mission trip doesn’t make me any more put together or spiritual than anyone else. It just means I have to come face to face with every single one of my insecurities every day and there’s no way around, or over or under them. I’ve got to go straight through! And hopefully by the end of the eleven months I will believe that I’m not inadequate, I’m not lost, and I’m not alone…ever! But right now, I just have a hard time believing in me and trusting God with me.
And seeing as how many of you have invested in me, and are taking the time to follow my journey, I just wanted you to know what I’ve been up against. So please pray for me. Pray that I would be able to stand on the promises that I’ve been already given. Pray that I could experience greater healing so that I could help others experience it too!
The following are some photos from our ministry so far in Romania…
We’ve been bringing food and clothing to various gypsie communities here.
What beautiful people live here!
