Do we really love the things we say we love? And do we really need the things we say we do. I probably couldn’t keep track, even if I wanted to, of all the times in the last eight months I’ve said “I really need a chocolate bar”, or “I have to have a cup of coffee”. I could probably take it one step further by recognizing the times I’ve declared how I deserve certain freedoms like my personal space, or to wear whatever clothes I want.
“So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you: […] Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolator, worshipping the things of this world” Colossians 3:5
(Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying it’s a sin to wear whatever you want or have some personal space. These just happen to be simple freedoms that I’ve had to learn to surrender this year – for the sake of ministry.)
Over the last two months, I’ve learned a lot about entitlement and dying to my desires. I spent a lot of time being really angry when I wasn’t offered the freedoms I thought I was entitled to. I made myself so miserable during our month in Mozambique becaue of this attitude…
…we were working with this incredible ministry that taught pastoral leadership classes. My team got to help encourage the students of these classes for an entire month. On a daily basis we visited multiple churches full of leaders, pastors, elders and pastoral students. We spent a week in the bush visiting churches and holding worship meetings in the evenings. For an entire month we shared the fresh, daily Rhema word that God spoke to us. But it was demanding and exhausting, and we were in a culture that had different standards and expectations. As young adults our role in society was completely different than what we were used to. I spent the entire month trying to die to my desires and my needs in order to accept the authority over me and make it a successful ministry.
It actually took me two months of fighting fiercly for my desires before I let go and in the end, I realized that what I was fighting for was selfish and pointless. If we can get past what our flesh desires we can love so much harder and live so much freer.
In Cape Town we worked with a family who cares for the children of their community, in order to keep them from getting into drugs and voilence. When I was preoccupied with my needs – I had nothing left to love these kids with. But take away my needs and my desires and there was so much more of me to offer! We spent the days playing games with the kids, feeding them, taking walks together and talking about life and encouraging them.
…God has asked me to give up my entitlement and flesh this year and the rest of my life! Stumbling on the following verse a few weeks ago has helped me continue to let go and remember that my God is a good God…
“loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” 1 John 5:3
None of what God asks us to do is meant to be a burden. It’s just easier when we let our flesh and all it’s desires go….
