This past week we were at month 6 debrief in Entebbe Uganda. With it being halfway through our journey there was time set aside for reflecting on what the past months meant to us, if we reached the goals that we had set at the start, and what we want your second half of the journey to look like.
For me I felt like I definitely have grown since the beginning of the race, but not necessarily in the ways that I wanted to when this adventure began. My main focuses were becoming more solid in my identity in Christ, to pursue personal growth with the Lord, becoming more intimate with Him and experience Him in new ways, and to be able to really pour into the community I was placed in being able to form good friendships based on the foundation of Christ’s love.
I would say in some ways I have grown like I wanted but for the most part I haven’t and that was a little disappointing. I feel like I miss a lot of opportunities to use the voice and the boldness that God has given me. I questioned if I am where I need to be in my walk with Christ and if I have a place and a purpose in my team. I’ve been letting the devil whisper lies into my ears about these things, and I know I shouldn’t have been but I’m getting tired.
Halfway through means for me that I am getting a tired….tired of fighting spiritual battles, tired of opening up fully and loving the way I should each month just to say goodbye 20 some days later, tired of making sure I am honoring and preferring my teammates all of the time, and just plain physically tired. Debrief came at just the right time for me, no doubt.
The mama’s really encouraged me and spoke life into me, and my team got some issues worked out. I had been praying at debrief that God would help me be confident in the ways He is calling me to step up, to stay on track better as I pursue Him and His will for my life, and that He would help my team and I start fresh. I was really starting to question my role on my team, but God put all those doubts to rest by confirming to me I am exactly where I need to be.
During my time at debrief I was listening to a podcast series on Joseph. It was really cool and I feel like I got a lot out of it. One of the things that randomly stood out to me from it was that in older texts that Joseph’s coat wasn’t necessarily multi-colored, but instead had longer sleeves to set him apart from his other brothers. The significance of the long sleeves was that it made him unable to work in the fields with his brothers and instead set him apart from the rest and devoted most of his time to studying. All who saw the coat knew that this boy had been set apart by his father for a special purpose in life. Well just before Mama C and Karen left Mama C told me something that I won’t easily forget. She told me that I had a big coat to fill and that it had long sleeves, but not to worry about it because it was made just for me and I would grow into it and my purpose. I didn’t realize the connection at first but later that night while I was reflecting on the day it all came together.
I was blown away.
I feel like that confirmation from God that I am where I need to be, I’m growing just how He wants me to, and He has much bigger plans for me in the future. It’s really exciting for me and encouraged me to keep pushing on. It also helps me be confident that I can hear the words of God and know it is Him.
I have five more months to grow in crazy ways as long as I obedient to the Lord’s will for my life. I walk away from debrief feeling spiritually refreshed and encouraged, and ready to take on the next five months by the horns. I’ve made a commitment to God about how I planned to grow closer to Him and glorify His name the way it should be, and agreed to keep an open mind for the ways He speaks to me and wants to use me.
Funny thing is that since I have made this commitment He hasn’t wasted any time in testing my word. I have been asked to step up and help take some stress off my amazing leader, Trena, by taking over feedback for a little while and also leading worship within my team once a week. God also used me in a crazy awesome way a few nights ago at church. It was the first night we had the opportunity to share/preach here in Rwanda, and for some crazy reason I volunteered to take this first night. God laid it on my heart to talk about freedom in Christ. As I began speaking I paused and prayed to God that He would help me completely surrender myself to His spirit, and do as He directed.
Welp, He did exactly that haha. The spirit led me through at least an hour’s worth of talking, sharing my ALL of my testimony and praying for the church. I felt led to pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ that were burdened by sins and were seeking freedom and pray for the people who needed healing, almost the whole church came up to pray for freedom from past burdens.…I’ve never done anything like that before in my life. It was crazy and kinda cool how the Holy Spirit just took over. I remember at one point in the back of my mind thinking “what in the world am I doing!” haha To sum all of this up it has been a crazy cool start to month 7 and I am super stoked to see what else the Lord has planned for me.
I’m praying that I will simply be willing to be pushed into a place I am uncomfortable and grow through that situation.
I want to say thank you to everyone who has shown me support and encouragement in anyway to get me to this point! I could never had made it this far without my supporters and the grace of God 🙂 I'm praying for a just as fruitful second half of the race for me and my squad!
