Have you ever experienced this crazy thing? I have.
Death by comparison is actually one of the quickest ways to die in the world today, especially in the Christian world, I think. I have felt it’s fatal grip on my throat more than once. It starts off innocent enough, as they all do. You see someone over there, and they are soooo stinkin' happy and you think that they have it all. **Enter a destructive thing called envy with its little brother jealousy, a dangerous duo** You start wanting the things that this person has. Thinking that if you only had what they have then life would be so much better for you. *buzz* Wrong answer. The tragedy is that we don’t see it that way and keep trying to obtain what this other person has. The things we can envy come in various forms: cars, wealth, hairstyle, body composition, and even spiritual gifts. We focus so much on what we don’t have that we don’t see how me we DO have. How much God HAS gifted us with. How unique He has made each of us. That if we only sought out and embraced the spiritual gifts that we have been given then we would be that stinkin’ happy person that we were so jealous over. Crazy stuff. The only person we ever need to compare ourselves, our lives, to is that of Christ and Christ alone.
I’ve been missing this the whole time I think.
Now, I am not chasing the “American Dream” or even the “Christian American Dream” (which is some times kinda the same but they pray more) I was chasing after a relationship with God that wasn’t my own. It was based upon the Christians that I have seen around me. I struggle with thinking or even saying things like “Maybe if I prayed/studied/worshipped more I could be blessed like they are” or “If I prayed BETTER than I do maybe God would hear me more often” or even “If I worship like them I will be blessed with the Holy Spirit the same as they are”. What I am coming to realize however is that this is all phooey. Complete phooey. God knows our hearts and the intentions of them so why worry about making a “fancy” prayer why not just pray a REAL prayer…you know, the one that you are actually thinking about, and not the one you think people want to hear. We aren’t praying to impress people. We pray to connect and build a stronger relationship with God. We do not worship and love on our Daddy to impress the people around us. We should do it just for Him. I’ve been also been guilty of praying and/or worshipping God with the thought of what I can get out of it. How screwed up is that? We are to worship God to show Him our love and affection towards Him…not how He may bless us for doing so. Satan’s lies have been winning. My other issue is this whole Holy Spirit thing, and learning what He looks like in my life. I was stuck in the rut thinking that if The Holy Spirit did not bless me or fill me in a certain way then I was doing something wrong. More of the enemies lies. I’m still looking over that whole UNIQUE part of being with the body of Christ. We all weren’t meant to have the same spiritual gifts, filling/blessing of the Holy Spirit, prayer, or worship style that God has gifted us with.
The good news is that God is opening my eyes to these things so that I can correct them. Praise the Lord that He is willing to guide my foolish heart back to where it needs to be, again, and again, annnnd again He keeps coming back for me. This is still mind blowing to me. I want to run before I can walk. This whole thing is a learning curve. When God knows it’s time for me to graduate to the “meat and potatoes” He will…I just have to be patient and grow some teeth for chewing it. Back to the gerber Jesus style food for now.
So, don’t make it a nasty love triangle like I did. No more of the world, God, and I…just God and I. Worship and pray to our Father because you love Him. Let Him fill you with the Holy Spirit in the ways He knows you can handle it. We must all learn how to crawl before we walk and walk before we run. We must stay in the word and in prayer to aid in our growth **important components don’t forget them!**
Death by comparison: one of the ugliest preventable ways to die.
Be thankful for what gifts you have in this season, and the seasons and gifts to come.
