When I was a newbee in college, a freshman, I remember being terrified to sign up for aphilosophy course. The concepts presented in philosophy were intimidating enough to make my knees shake and I dreaded the course that loomed in my future. It was not so much the course itself, but the unknown of concepts I had yet to discover; potent, complex, “get the wheels turning” concepts, that intimidated me. The unknown rattled me while I walked into that room the first day of philosophy, but God was gracious with me and provided a professor who I now hold in beautifully high regards. This particular professor was kind, patient, had excellent articulation skills and presented the concepts of the course in a way that I was able to understand. I soon realized that philosophy was a wonderful language of intellect and intelligence. One of my favorite quotes, not necessaryily by one of my favorite philosophers, was a phrase said by Alfre Lord Tennyson. Mr. Tennyson once stated “I am apart of all I have met.” I’ve alwasy loved the images present by this simple statement. It is an eloquence that reminds me that experiences are valuable; that experience is what makes people into who they are and shapes them into who they want to be.
I am reminded of this today in particular. Today is September first and a day I have dreaded for months. I have not dreaded it for the events that took place, but more rather the unknown of the future that follows these events. Just like I shook when thinking about philosophy and the unknown presented by it, the unknown that follows today’s date also intimidates. Today my mother was released from prison and has already tried to contact me. I haven’t spoken to her in 8 years, nor do I have any interest in a relationship with her. The lack of knowledge as to where this relationship will go, if anywhere, and the journey of how it will reach such a destination is at times rattling to my soul.
This is the same shake my heart feels as I sit anxiously thinking about the World Race. This rattle rings deep as I sit and think about fundraising, my to-do-list, and all the things I have yet to get done for this amazing adventure called the World Race. I reflect on philosophy and the release of my mother becuase the fear I have for the World Race reminds me of the fear I had in these two reflections. What if I can’t raise the money? People aren’t donating the way I had hoped they would; are the funds going to ever reach their goal? How can I encourage people to donate? What else can I do? How do I fit the things I can do into my schedule? Am I able to take more work off? What is I do raise the money? Is this journey really something I will be blessed with? Can I really quit my life for a year? Should I buy supplies even though I don’t know if the funds will come through? All these questions and more contantly humm through my head all day long. I have had the pleasure ofcommunicating with some of my future, fellow world races and they are amazing. Absolutely wonderful people. I can’t imagine not being able to meet them and share this adventure with them. But it is a possibility. The unknown of that possbility, just like the unknown referenced in my reflections makes my knees weak. My heart aches for this adventure; I feel God’s pull to praise him and share his love with others. This is a dream within reach of my fingertips and it is stiffling how close I feel, yet how far I actually am. C.S. Lewis once said “Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.” The World Race is an opportunity for some of us to see these miracles that God has written on our world. The unknown I fear is not being able to witness them. To mis the opportunity to feel the Lord working and to see his impact and love can be an unknown that weighs on us. I believe all of us potential racers have felt this weight.
God is gracious….he loves us…..he will provide. The challenge has been to relax, to know that he is in control. Experiences such as learning new things, philosophy in this case, to life events such as my mother and her impact, all require giving God the trust he desires from us. Hebrews 11:1 says: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” God calls us to step into his unknown; to have faith that he is waiting there for us, with open arms. He gave us his son so that he can provide a pathway for us to walk on as we travel through the unknown to him. He awaits us; a world full of miracles is evidence of what he can do and what he can provide for us. My hope and prayer is that myself and my team will be able to journey on the World Race to experience these little glimpses of the Lord. These experinces will shape us; direct us into the life style that we hope to live as young Christians. Experiences teach us, show us, move us and impact us. God is waiting in this unknown for us. I pray readers are willing to partner with us to get there. Thank you for all your time, prayers and donations.
Thanks for reading,
Tabbi
