I have not been blogging as much as I’d hoped to this month, but being in a remote part of India with few distractions has been amazing and the best way to start the race. Here is a bit of what the Lord was stirring in my heart as I spent one of my last days in India exploring a historic fort. I’ve only just begun to really process the month and really reveal what the Lord has slowly been doing in my heart, but this gives some vague glimpses and reflections into this month and my heart.
Here I am in a beautiful mix of old and new. Standing upon centuries of history that give new perspectives on this modern day city that I now find myself in. I look at this city filled with millions of people, the call to prayer playing in the background. Fighting the bittersweet tension in my heart of having to leave this country and people that have stolen my heart too soon, but also eager anticipation about the countries and stories the Lord is bound to unfold in the next months. It is sitting here that the Lord stirs in me to really start reflecting on this month. To not just move on to the next thing, as I so easily tend to do. So in a quick, passing moment, this 1st month races through my mind.
Reflections of learning to go with the flow and giving up all expectations. Remembering the moment we found out the change of ministry and that we’d be pioneering a site and the unknowing anticipation of that. Of learning as a team that the Lord’s plans are always better and that sometimes the biggest ministry moments and lessons learned are in the unexpected or inconvenient moments.
Reflections of the Lord making himself known on the beach and how he began to teach and reteach me lessons with so much grace and patience. Of looking to the ocean and being reminded that His presence is as steadfast, big, and constant as the sunrise and waves crashing to the shore. Remembering the tossing of struggles and insecurities into the ocean and hearing the Lord say “these are mine to carry…you don’t need to pick them back up.” Of being reminded of the Father’s deep love and the purpose and beauty he has created in me at the exact moments that my heart needed to hear it.
Reflections of how beautiful it is that eight different people could become family in less than a month. Of learning what authentic community looks like and fighting for that. Of each person learning how to come together in vulnerability, call each other higher, encourage, and laugh together. Reflecting on how much influence these people have had on my life in such a short span of time.
Reflections on how chaotically beautiful village ministry is. Remembering the intimidation I felt towards it at first. Smiling as I reflect on how the Lord brought me outside my comfort zone in an answer to my prayer and how he continued to guide me and build confidence in this area. Laughing as I replay us walking through villages with loud speakers and singing songs that we never remembered all the words to. My heart bursting as I remember smile after smile in each village and the stretching and growing the Lord has done in our team by not always allowing us to know the fruit of seeds planted. Pictures running through my mind to remind me of the beauty of small acts making an impact- the kids who just wanted a thumbs up or high five, the young woman who had lost her legs who just wanted a hand to hold and her beauty and presence to be acknowledged, and the powerful acts of simply praying for others.
Reflections of that while I had been impatient and quick to think the Lord had been slow to speak or grow me this month, He had been slowly chipping away at the things that I needed to let go and trust Him in. In taking the time to reflect, I’ve been able to see the subtle ways in which I am different. Ways in which he has changed the way I think and the ways in which he has pushed me to be more bold and confident. While I was too busy wondering why he wasn’t moving faster, he has been working the entire time, drawing me closer and closer in ways that will last.
As I open my eyes and continue to look out upon this city, I am humbled and filled with so much hope and love. The Lord is moving here in India and there is so much potential for revival. I came into India not sure what to expect. I have been so beautifully surprised by the hospitality, joy, diversity, and beauty of the people here and the ways that I see the Lord working. These reflections are only a small glimpse at the month and the ways the Lord has been working in my own heart. As I continue to reflect and process with friends here, I can’t help but be amazed at how God has worked in this country this month and in the ways in which he has and continues to refine me in small ways that pave the way to a radical relationship with him. The Lord has answered my prayer in forcing me outside my comfort zone and in making each goodbye hard, as it means I’d have fully invested in and been changed by each country. India has been the perfect way to start this race, and while it is so tough to leave, it has set the bar high and paved the way for the Lord to continue to call me higher and to continue to redefine ministry.
Updates:
I have had little access to wifi, so if you didn’t know, this month my team was working in a remote area in India helping with construction and village ministry. We would pray for people in villages, offer encouragement and testimonies, and preach the Gospel on the streets. The Lord has been so faithful and I believe he is planning big things for these villages. Please continue to pray for the people and pastors working here full time.
Our squad is now in Nepal. We have a few days of debrief, where we will process the month and worship together. Then we will all actually live together this month, with the different teams doing different ministry. I’ll post again soon about what ministry looks like this month.
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