Our midweek ministry was serving at a crisis nursery, a place for babies who either have no parents, or were taken from parents who couldn’t provide. And I came alive there. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE BABIES. I nannied for a year and a half before this trip, and the best part of that job was getting to be with a toddler, and once a week a baby, all day long. Something about them just brings out a certain joy in me, and it’s not necessarily tied to a desire to be a mother. Babies just bring a specific kind of joyful life to the world, and I’m just someone who happens to really appreciate that. And these babies were no different.
Some of the babes that go through this center are a result of prostitution and/or rape; some are children of mothers who died in childbirth; and some were unwanted. And much like the children from the kids club, they just need some love. And that’s what we had to offer.
Adoption is something that has been on my heart for quite some time- we’re talking years, here- and this is what it’s rooted out of: a widespread need for love in the world. I’m not talking about hippie-love-not-war, I’m talking about true, genuine, I’m-going-to-take-care-of-you-and-fight-for-you-no-matter-what love. The kind that wants the best for it’s subjects. Why? There are so many people who go their entire lives not knowing what it is to be really loved, to feel the love of another human, and to love. Divorce and abuse and all the other things completely wrong with any relationship today are ultimately rooted out of one thing: not understanding love. It’s not a feeling that goes away after time has had its turn, it’s a decision to live a certain way. There’s a reason things like this run in families; it’s because the lack of love and the understanding of what that is gets passed down. It’s like never teaching someone to ride a bike, and then asking them to teach someone how to do the very thing they lack the knowledge of. Yes, there are many people who come out of rough situations, and they love with everything they have. But ask them, and I’ll bet you they’ll all speak to a point in their lives when they felt love for the first time. It’s innate; we are a species who desires love. It’s what we were made to do.
So where does this come into my heart for adoption? I know love. I understand the expanse of what it means to love, even if I don’t always do it perfectly. But I can love, with everything I have, and if I have that, who would I be to not give it? Who am I to look at a parentless child and decide, “My love isn’t for that one”? Even if I only ever adopt one child, that’s one less child that grows up with the potential of not ever knowing love. And if they know what it is to be loved, what will they do when they see the unloved? And let’s say I only adopt one child, and love them with everything I have, just as I do with my biological children? They are no longer a single person with the knowledge of love, but part of a family who knows love, and who shares that to those they adopt into the family. Adoption isn’t about being a good person, it’s about understanding that love doesn’t just happen; it’s fought for.
And these are the things I pondered, for the up-teenth time in my life, as I sat every Wednesday holding my baby for two months. No, I realistically will probably not be able to adopt him legally, but for these two months, and beyond, I adopted him into my heart. Cheesy? Oh, absolutely, but am I wrong? I devoted what I had for the short time I had him, to love him and to be someone who cares about him. He may never experience that again-although I pray that’s not the case-and if so, I got to be the one person in his life who loves him. And my love didn’t stop when I left. That’s another thing: love doesn’t just end, or go away; it’s a thing that lasts. It’s so much deeper than feelings and emotions, and because of that, I get to be the person who chooses to care for that little babe everyday, from the room he’s in, or from across the globe.
He is loved, and I believe that one day, he will live loved, and live by loving.
