This past month my mom and I made a deal. If I wrote my college essay then she would write a guest blog about her experience so far of my trip. She may have beat me but since I just finished my essay, I am now posting her’s.
Beginning in August, I’d see friends posting trunk-open photos on social media of their jam-packed cars with captions like, “Move-in day at OSU!” or “Off to college!” Meanwhile, my daughter Sydney carefully arranged everything she would need for the next nine months into a single backpack she hefted onto her own human frame. No room there for a comforter, mini-fridge or microwave. No dry-erase board for messages or school supplies. No stockpile of snacks. (Unless you count a few protein bars to get her through the long flight to Thailand.) Pretty much only the essentials. But going into the unknown, what would the essentials be? This was a bit unsettling for me. What kind of parent sends her child out into the world with only a backpack?
I knew there would be lessons for Sydney on this journey. And, as you can imagine, there have been lessons for me, as well. Sydney is the youngest child leaving this nest. So, I set aside this year while she is gone, to focus on nest-cleaning. Twenty-five years of accumulated “stuff” under one roof. My teaching materials from two decades ago. Way more than the recommended three years of financial statements. Numerous used boxes of crayons that had come home from school over the years and been deposited on the craft table in the basement. Clothes and coats and boots that no longer fit anyone in our family. A can of evaporated milk that expired in 2015. (Oops!) And I’m only getting started!
Why? Why did I hang on to these things so long? And why do I find it difficult to let some of them go? I understand that some, like books or toys or kids’ artwork, have an emotional connection. There are dishes belonging to my great grandparents. Family heirlooms, yes. But I never use them or even display them! Each item is getting separated into one of three piles: throw away, give away or save. As I handle each one, I picture it in a pack on my back, carrying it with me everywhere I go. Then I choose its fate. Some, like the expired can of evaporated milk, are easy. Others, not so much. With each release of an item, there is both a bit of grief and a bit of relief as well. A burden being lifted. A new space being made. This space seems to hold an infinite number of possibilities. Already, I wonder what I can fill it with. But after all the work of sorting and choosing and hauling, I think very carefully about what I will allow in. I find I enjoy the openness of the space itself.
This physical space has given me room to examine my emotional and spiritual space. Hmm. A bit cluttered there too. Some old grudges I’ve been hanging on to. Some outdated ways of thinking. Lots of thoughts I don’t need and others that should have no place in my head. I think I will likely spend as much time with the spiritual and emotional decluttering of my mind as I do with the physical cleaning of my home.
I am learning to let go of the treasures here on earth. I won’t lie. I struggle with this. But I want to concentrate on storing up the kind of treasures that cannot be stolen or destroyed. (Matthew 6:19-21). I am in awe of my daughter who gave up the comforts of home and nine months of her life to pursue more of God and share the Gospel of Christ with others. Jesus sent his disciples out with only a staff and the shoes on their feet. (Luke 9:3) Sydney and her team have backpacks with the essentials but are trusting God’s provision for the rest. I am humbled. And inspired.
Of course, the hardest idea to let go of is of Sydney as my “little girl”. She will always be my dear, sweet child. But she is also capable, mature, committed in her faith and trusting in God’s leading, protection and provision. In this, I can rest peacefully knowing, as God’s dear child as well, she has the essentials, no matter what the journey holds!
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Thank you so much to all our friends, family and acquaintances who are joining Sydney in this journey and have supported her with your prayers, words of encouragement and finances. I feel such gratitude for the investment you are making in her life and future and the lives of those who will cross her path. Sydney is only $2494 from her fundraising goal. If you would like to contribute to her time in mission, you can do so from the top of this page by clicking on the orange “Donate” button.
