Dear Swaziland,
wow. Has it really already been three months? Three months from seeing my family. Three months from being “comfortable”. Three months from Colby(my dog:’) ) three months from my home.
But three months at my new home. Three months with new foods, new stars, new friends, new family. If I told you all the things you have taught me, the list would go on forever. I have learned to love you Swaziland. Not gonna lie, I didn’t like you at first. The dirt. The red dirt was just something I hated with everything in me. It got everywhere, and doesn’t come out of clothes. I’m pretty sure there has to be red dirt in my blood stream by now. Oh and the living in community part. Don’t even get me started. Waking up on my off day to 7 different alarms that go off for so long before they are turned off, or being woken up by one of the other 17 girls that live in my room. And the worst part is when you walk into the bathroom and the toilet paper roll is empty but theres a new roll sitting right on top of the empty roll. like why can’t you just put the toilet paper onto the roll?? It would have taken you 2 more seconds. Or the weather. There will be days where it will be 109 degrees for three days and then the fourth day it will be a high of 64 degrees and raining. Or maybe getting wifi once a month and barely getting a good enough connection to call my family and some friends.
But those few things don’t even compare to the good things from you swazi. The friendships I have made and formed here, the kids that I got to hold and play with all day long, and all the tears and laughter that came with them. The people that I’ve gotten to meet and know, the sleepovers every night with some of my besties. The amount of Jesus that I have gotten to encounter everyday, through the sunsets, sunrises, stars, and people.
The laughter of the goofiest things that happen, like when Madison and I were sitting in her hammock and tried to flip it upside down with both of us in it and I almost peed my pants because I was laughing so hard.
Ive had bad days here. Days of being sad because I miss family and friends back home (especially you ladies from step study :’)
Days of nothing but worship and thankfulness.
Days full of so much joy that I don’t stop smiling going to bed.
In all that has happened Swazi, something that I’ve learned with living here is patience. Learning to go with the flow of such a slow paced culture. Learning that its okay to not have any idea what your plans at ministry are until the morning of. Or in the little things like waiting for a kombie (public transportation). Sometimes you wait in the blistering heat for 45 minutes to catch a kombie that passes you because its already full and can’t hold 5 more people. So another 25 minutes and you get one thats just as full but the driver still lets you in and your smooshed together like sardines. (Thats the best experience, haha. I highly recommend)
Something else that I’ve learned here, is how to love without boarders. Loving on the kids that drive you the most crazy who pull at your hair and scream in your face in a language you can’t even understand. Thats where Abba sits and laughs and says “You have to love them more than you think.” And I’m like, why would I do that?? He’s screaming at me and I don’t even know why! And he replies with “Because thats my son and I love him even more than you think.” Thats where my perspective changes and I love the kids even more each day and I try to show them as much love and Jesus as I can.
I can now say that I love the red dirt and get excited to see the really really red dirt. I love when it makes my feet so dirty that you just know it was a great day at ministry because you can’t see your skin color because your toes are so dirty. And living in community has its moments but some of the best stories and memories comes from it. Also some of the best friends I could ever imagine have come from living with them. Also not being able to go on my phone for weeks at a time has been so good for me. Its so nice because I’m not distracted and I can focus on why I’m here and do what I have to do. It also challenges me because I can’t call my mom to complain to her when I’m annoyed with a girl on my team because she keeps eating my snacks. It forces me to take it to the Lord. Which has been something so life changing for me.
All in all, I’m sad to be leaving you Swazi. But you have helped me learn so many things and i’ve never felt closer to Abba. Thank you for the good, the bad and everything in-between. I’ll never forget you and what I’ve learned here in Swazi.
with lots of love,
Sydney Stubrich :’)
