This week I asked my dad to write something for my blog. I’ve been on the field for a month, and I’ve learned and shared a lot, but I was wondering what thoughts Fred Patten had to share with all of you, and this is what he came up with. So, without further ado, one of the only people who still calls me Sydney Jane:
When I was growing up, my dad almost never said, “I’m proud of you.” I know that sounds terrible, but my dad had a great aversion to Pride. “Pride goeth before destruction,” and “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble,” were very familiar verses to me in my childhood.
Now don’t get me wrong – when my dad was happy with me, I knew it. He would say things like, “I’m happy with you,” or, “I’m pleased with you.” That last one always reminded me of what God said about Jesus – “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” That really seems like the ultimate way to say, “son, I’m proud of you.” As I grew to adulthood, I came to the conclusion that my dad was reading the texts about pride in the Bible a bit too literally. That maybe, the word “proud” in “I’m proud of you” means something a little different than the pride that Proverbs warns us against. But still, even though I do say “I’m proud of you” to my children from time to time, there’s still a little hesitancy, or a feeling of whoa – I better guard against destructive pride as I say it.
And I do think that I, and maybe other parents, am not totally immune to a sort of pride in my children that is motivated by a desire to be acknowledged as the great parent I sometimes fool myself that I am. I watch them excel in some endeavor, or look one of my adult friends in the eye while giving them a firm handshake, and I glow internally when my friend says, “Well you sure raised her right!” and I think, yeah – I really did, didn’t I?
But when I’m honest with myself, the years we’ve spent raising our 6 kids have left me with few illusions about my stellar parenting abilities. The judgmental attitude I used to (back when I had only two well-behaved toddlers) privately enjoy as I expressed my “concern” about other young parents’ apparent lack of good upbringing and wrongheaded ideas about parental discipline, etc. has been brutally moderated as I’ve assessed the effects of my own recurring lack of discipline and flat-out selfishness as a dad. The successes and good character of my kids are more likely now to make me wonder at the grace of a God who intervenes in love, who brings beauty from ashes, and who is always faithful even as we fail time and time again. And “I’m proud of you” has become much more about gratitude than about “Look at what I did there.”
So when I think about my daughter Sydney Jane on her World Race Adventure, about her desire to follow God’s direction in her life, about her willingness to sacrifice for Him, about her faith in stepping out and committing to a path without knowing how it will all turn out, and about her beyond-her-years wisdom, I can say that I like how she turned out. I can say I’m happy with her. I can even say, “Look, this is Sydney Jane, in whom I am well pleased.”
But Sydney Jane, let there be no confusion here –
I’m proud of you.
I promise I didn’t pay him to write about how great I am. 😉 But for real, I’m super appreciative of my dad for taking time to write this up. He has learned a lot during his time as a father. Make no mistake, dad — I’m also proud of you.
BONUS PICS
First picture is me on the swing at the “edge of the world” which is a tourist attraction thingy kabob in Baños, Ecuador. The second picture is by the front gate of the hostile we stayed at in Baños. The third picture is Allyson, who took a selfie on my phone. You better beLIEVE I wanted to post that somewhere! Love her.
