…is something that really stresses me out. Parents, y’all know what I’m talking about when I say that a countdown creates the same kind of emotion as kids repeatedly asking “Are we there yet?” during a road trip. Usually spurring a response somewhere along the lines of “We’ll get there when we get there!”
We’ll get there when we get there. Something that I’ve had to remind myself, and sometimes others, during my 9 months on the race. We’ll get there when we get there, but right now we’re here. In this house, this country, this ministry. With these people. The balance between being excited for/anxious about what God has for me in the future and seeking to see what He’s doing in the here and now is an interesting one.
In general, I adapt to change more quickly and more definitively than I think I expect. Without realizing it, my habits change, my perspective shifts, the words coming out of my mouth reflect a brain that is constantly in input and output mode. There are things about me that don’t change quite so easily: beliefs, personality traits, likes & dislikes. Even so, I think it’s incredible that I was given the ability to “roll with the punches”. I’ve experienced my fair share of changes during my almost 19 years of living. I’ve made it through each and every one alive. Maybe a little happier than before, maybe a little sadder, maybe more confused. But alive and at least relatively okay. Even so, it’s scary. All of the above paragraph can really be said about most humans, too.
I won’t ignore the fact that change is often difficult. I also won’t sit here and pretend that I’m able to go between seasons in a healthy way alone. Humanity was created for community. And times of transition are times when that becomes evident. Having people who want to support you, listen to you, advise you, and just love you is makes a huge difference. Humanity was also created to walk through life hand-in-hand with Christ as His bride. I think it really all comes down to that, at least for me. If I didn’t have community, I would struggle to the extreme. If I didn’t have Christ, I would drown. He is a God who is intentional, who cares about the individual, and who wants us to lean on Him.
Allllll that being said…I’m going home soon. It’s down to the last couple days of ministry. Then a week of debrief. Then hopping on a 14 hour flight to the states. Change is one of the only constants in life, and yet it hits me like it’s new every single time. If you asked me how I feel about leaving the race, I wouldn’t know how to respond. All I know is that it’s happening, and I’m not doing it alone. Please give me grace back in America, though, because I know that sometimes it’s going to feel as if I am.
BONUS PICTURES (i know, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?)
Sitting around the table eating a meal that includes chicken head with some of our university students.
Performing a choreographed dance at an event we held on May 18th!
Hanging out with students from three different universities.
Group photo! After a fun afternoon of movie and popcorn with our high school students!
Biiiiig group photo after the event we held. So glad about the turn out!
