Empty coffee mugs are ugly. They have stains around the edges, smudges of lip products on the outsides, a layer of extra powder that once decorated the foam of the coffee beautifully resides on the rim. When the mug is empty there is nothing special about it, nothing worth taking pictures of, nothing worth cheers-ing to. This goes for anything you drink out of truely, empty water glasses are just washed and put away, awaiting the next use. Empty water bottles are left behind when leaving for a busy day.
Empty cups are ugly. Empty humans get ugly. When we pour out everything with no foreseeable time to refill ahead, we get ugly. We lose our sense of self, we lose our grace and compassion and it is replaced with a cold shoulder and bitterness.
I have a habit of filling my cup and immediately pouring it all out, I don’t spend time cherishing a fresh cup of coffee, but I rather offer sips of it to my peers sitting close to me, and I chug down the coffee so I can get moving towards the next bullet point on my to-do list. Then I am left with an empty cup of coffee, and slowly I ease towards a half-full cup so that I can pour out again, and it’s always pouring out more than I have to offer. It’s become a vicious cycle of hurry and stress.
The race cut this down immediately. I have spent a lot of time this past month processing with the Lord and reflecting on my spirit. While this is insanely cool and conversation with Abba is extraordinary, it’s draining. Digging up every root you have deeply planted and exposing all your imperfections to the King most high is terrifying, even though He already knows the depths of my heart, bringing everything forward to Him changes everything.
Abba had no fear of wreaking peace, He knows our earthly fears and He knows exactly how to tear them down. But this gardening and uprooting can not take place when your empty, the Father knows not to tear someone down when they have nothing left.
This is where I have been having to learn what truly fills me up, what brings me life, and how I rest in Him. I am beginning to understand what all of this looks like. I previously believed over exhaustion and booking myself back to back to back kept me filled. That Instagram likes were equivalent to receiving love, that an empty cup meant a happy cup.
These are simply false realities. The fact is that empty cups are ugly and that regardless of my extroverted personality and my love for the rush of never-ending plans, that is not what fills me up.
Quiet time talking to Abba fills me up, one on one conversations bring me life, and embracing every second of the incredible life I am living fills me up. By spending time in my Father’s word, writing poetry for Him, drawing what He calls my hand to craft, worshipping Him fearlessly and listening to His voice I have begun to not only reach a full cup but to reach a state of overflow.
His uprooting is hard, but I have faith in the beautiful garden that is growing. Empty cups are ugly, but I am thankful every day for my Abba who fills my cup, even when I haven’t realized how empty I was.
