Something I think has been super relevant in my life recently as I’ve talked about is fighting with Spiritual warfare and what that does. How people see you will forever be something people care about. If we want to admit it or not we want people to see the best in us.
Recently I’ve been dealing with my past coming back and haunting me with who I was. I got super down and upset about it but the day I was told about these things I read this verse that morning.
Exodus 14:14 “You will not have to do anything but stay calm. The Lord will do the fighting for you.”
That verse meant everything to me that day. I didn’t lash out I didn’t do anything. Did I cry and get super upset as to why God might be letting this happen? Yes, of course. But I kept repeating this to myself. As I’ve been thinking about it more and more I have realized that my worth and how people see me does not matter. I am loved and seen as a beloved child of God. What someone does or doesn’t think of me or you should not matter. God sees us as worthy he sees the best in us even when we can’t see through the situation and what we should do. I know that God has forgiven me for my messy past and for my future that will be messy I’m sure to because none of us are perfect and sin is real. I have learned that I cannot fight my own battles by myself but only with the one who created me. I have also learned more to not judge people by what they have done but who they are now. Trying to look at people through God’s eyes and loving them for who they are and not who they were.
1 John 3:13-14 “Brothers and sisters, don’t be surprised when the people of this world hate you. We know that we have left death and have come into life. We know this because we love each other as brothers and sisters. Anyone who does not love is still in death.”
We have to be able to choose to live in the light over the darkness. The enemy will always try to throw lies at us whether it is of who we are in our identity or about others we have to choose if we want to live in the light or in darkness. I want to say that I will always try my hardest to live in the light and I pray that others are able to live in the light as well because once you start believing those lies they will sweep you up. I have been sitting on the fact that those people saying those things are not them, that is the enemy feeding them darkness and pulling them in. I get to rest on the fact that I can just keep praying for them and that is all I have to do unless God gives me a go to do something else. I get to lay down all those burdens at his feet again and let him do the healing. I think in these things being brought to life maybe there is something God wants me to do or that he wants me to reveal in me through this hardship and I am going to let my heart stay open wide to see what he will do.
Getting ready for this race and preparing to meet all my teammates excites me so much and I’ll be meeting them in 2 short months. In thinking about this I know it will be a vulnerable time learning everyone’s struggles and what they have been through to bring them to where they are now. But in doing that I know there will be healing and no judgment.
Thank you to everyone for the massive amounts of prayer and support through this process of getting ready to travel for our Father. I have raised a little over $10,000 and that would not be possible without any of you and I am feeling overwhelmingly blessed. If you want to help support my financially I’d love to meet with you and talk or send you a letter. Thank you again and I hope God is blessing you tremendously.
