You ever get those moments where, one second you’re doing just fine, and then the next you just get slapped in the face by reality? Almost like a wake up call I would say. Well, I have and lately I’ve had it happen to me quite a bit lately, but there’s one in particular that’s really been on my heart…
Let me start out by simply describing mine and my sister’s relationship: CLOSE. My sister is my absolute best friend, my number one go-to, and my soul mate. Leaving her for nine months is going to be the hardest. And it hit me only a few days ago at our church’s D-NOW during worship. She’s in the row in front of me and in the corner of my eye I see a glisten in hers. She’s crying… I stood there and continued to worship while also praying that she was okay. Then during the last song, she came and stood next to me and told me that she was scared. When I asked her of what, she could only point at me, and I knew what she was scared of; she was… she IS scared of me leaving for nine months to be among the Least Of These. Her fear broke my heart because it slapped me into the reality that nine months is a LONG time to be away from someone you can’t imagine life without, your role model, your best friend… and I feel for her because I get it. I’m scared to leave her without the main person whom she trusts and shares everything with: me.
Not many siblings can relate to the relationship that my younger sister and I have. I go to just about every single one of her games, we sleep over in each others’ rooms, we laugh together, cry together… we support each other with all we have. What breaks my heart is that all of this will soon change. I’ll miss out on her entire junior year of high school, and I’ll miss out on getting to see her grow in every aspect of life.
I keep asking myself the same questions, “What if she needs me?”, “What if she has no one else to turn to and just needs her older sister to help guide her back on the right track, and hold her accountable?”
And then I think about how great God is and how caring He is. He’ll watch over my little sister for me, He’ll take hold of her right hand and say to her “Do not fear, for I am with you.” (Isaiah 49:13) It’s hard knowing that I won’t be there, but it gives me so much peace knowing that even when I am not there, He always is.
