some of you may know this already, but when i was 12 i lost a very special woman in my life, my aunt Amy. i remember how much i admired Amy and her beauty and love for the Lord. we were pretty close and i miss her every day. the two things that i always thought were so cool about Amy was her tattoo of a yellow rose on her shoulder blade, and her bald head. i knew it had to be heartbreaking to shave her head and not have hair anymore and i thought it was extremely bold.
the tat:
i always had mixed feelings on tattoos growing up because i knew they were permanent and the bible says not to mark your body with anything unholy, but i also thought that if there was enough meaning behind it, it was fine. then i turned 18 and i got my own to remind me that i am immeasurably more, and my worth to the Lord is far more than that of diamonds or gold. well, in July at training camp, the Lord pressed the word “blooming” on my heart and showed me a field of yellow roses and the significance of them to my life and i’ve thought about it ever since. since the race, i’ve been spiritually blooming into the woman of God that i have aspired to be and realizing that, though i wanted to be a lot like my aunt, i am blooming in my own way. it’s also a beautiful and sweet reminder of Amy and the bond that we shared and how much i loved her and looked up to her.
the bald head:
remember when i said that Amy shaving her head was extremely bold? yeah. it was. i grew up being told how bold and outgoing and boisterous and spontaneous i am, but i never really knew what boldness felt like until i shaved my head. i mean i’ve seen it, obviously, but never really felt it. when i decided to shave my head, it was after i was being lice checked by Amy McWilliams (i know what you’re thinking, cool right? love her.) and when she said that i had lice i was like, that’s it, let’s do this. it was hard as heck, not going to lie, to let go of something that i recently learned that i found some of my identity in. my hair was a like a prized possession almost and i didn’t realize that until it was gone. however, i feel more beautiful and more bold than i ever have. it’s what Ashlynn Kinnett would call, “tangible freedom” and she is exactly right. i’m free from any lie that the enemy would put into my mind that i’m not beautiful. while having shaved my head was a huge thing to honor Amy in a way and to physically “bloom” as well as spiritually, i’m learning how true it is when the Lord says that i am immeasurably more.
photo creds: my beautiful friend, claire hilton
