Confession: I worship money.
Ah. Awkward.
No one should admit that. They definitely shouldn't put it in writing for all the world to see on a blog, right? Well it needs to be said: I worship money. Trust me, it's not because I have a lot of it. Between car payments, student loans, piles of bills, and a teeny weeny teacher's salary, I definitely don't have much to spare for buying designer clothes or going on beach vacations.
But that's just it. Inside of me, some small voice says, "But wouldnt life be so much better if you could afford those things? Think about it–you could have a beautiful house, a nice SUV, and a closet full of clothes from Anthropologie clothes one day, and wouldn't life be just grand?" But its so very far from the truth.
All of my life I think I've based my security on how much money is in my bank account. Needless to say, that has left me feeling a little less than secure. The truth of the matter is that my security, what I put my faith in, what I lean into for protection when things start getting rough, needs to be the Lord. Only the Lord. He is the only One who has already designed the plans for my life, he is the only One who delivers me from my afflictions and protects me from the storm.
"For the Lord God is a sun and a shield; The Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless." -Psalm 84:11
So it is time for me to stop putting my faith in what cannot satisfy, what will only run out and let me down.
"The Lord will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought, And strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail." -Isaiah 58:11
In his time, a lot of emotions are coming at me all at once: impatience for my trip to begin, fear of not being fully funded, anxiety over preparation and stepping so very far out of my comfort zone, and sadness over having to say my first real goodbye to someone I love. But this is the time when I must trust God more than ever to be my Rock and my strong fortress, my Comforter and my Provider. He has to come in a breach the security in which I have been placing my hope, the false security. He does this because He longs to be gracious to His children, because He loves us.
At this point, I am just short of a month and a half away from my October launch, and am still about $6,000 shy of meeting my goal of $15,000. Thank you from the bottom of me to everyone who has given so generously so far. I am beyond grateful and so humbled by your willingness to give. If you have not had the opportunity to give yet, and would like to, there is a link on the left side of this page that says "Support Me" where you can donate online. Or you can contact me at [email protected] to find out more. Thank you all for following along with my journey. Thankful for all of you!
