Flesh.
It’s one of those words. It pretty much has a negative connotation any way you look at it. “Flesh” colored clothing? It’s either for undergarments or is a color you wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing for fear of looking naked. “Flesh,” as in skin? My mind always goes to thoughts of flesh melting off from 3rd degree burns. (Too many ER television shows, thanks Mom!) “Flesh” as in the “Christianese” term? It refers to the sinful parts of our lives that are not of Christ. Those parts that we spend most of our lives on earth battling against as we are sanctified by the Holy Spirit and made more and more like God.
Me? I’m talking about Defintion #3. My flesh and I, we’re at war.
There are days when the Holy Spirit fills me up with such strength, and I win those battles. Then, there are days—and it seems like there’s been more of these lately than usual—when I wake up, and my flesh is out for blood.
Take Sunday, for instance. I woke up on the wrong side of my sleeping pad (no beds this month). I’d slept terribly for the last several nights, had a crick in my neck from painting the church ceiling, and was not quite in the mood for a marathon church service in a language I can’t even begin to understand. A barrage of emotions was hammering and beating against me. I’d been missing home terribly. I’d been struggling to be patient and kind towards others. I’d been craving the community of friends in the States who truly know my heart. I was nervous for the challenges Africa will bring next month.
Overall, I couldn’t see the fruit of my time here on the Race. I know that maybe now isn’t the time for me to see it. Maybe I’m just planting seeds. Maybe I’ll see the fruit years on down the road. But all I can see right now are my shortcomings. My flesh coming out in full force.
So, once more, I cried out to the Lord to rescue me from the muck and the mire in which I’m drowning.
“The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” –Matthew 26:41
That was me, to a T.
“For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death.” –Romans 7:5
Is that what I’m doing by living by the flesh? Bearing fruit for death? Oh, Lord, that is absolutely notwhat I desire. But how do I change??
Then the Father sweetly reminded me of a vital part of the story I’d somehow temporarily forgotten:
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. But God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” –Romans 8:1-4
Why was I so caught up in my flesh and sinfulness?
Why was I condemning myself when God does not condemn me?
How had I forgotten that I have been set free?
I’d been walking according to my flesh, that was for dang sure. But by doing so, I was ignoring, even disregarding, the work that Jesus Christ did for me on the Cross.
It was a huge wake up call from the Lord:
“SYDNEY, snap out of it! That is notthe life I called you to. I called you to be free. I called you live by the Spirit! So what are you doing? It is finished!”
So that’s what I have to do. It’s what wehave to do. I can’t live everyday out of my own strength. I can’t love or serve out of my own free will or desire—it won’t cut it. The only way I can make it through life’s up and downs is to live by power of the Spirit.
How do we do it? Simple. We decide to, each and every morning when we wake up. We decide to in those moments when our flesh creeps in, uninvited. We decide to when the last thing we want to do is the thing God is asking us to do. That’s when we cry out for help.
“Holy Spirit, live through me today. Love through me today. Give me the strength to accomplish all that you have for me today. Guide my steps. Be the words on my tongue. Rescue me in those moments when my flesh sneaks up on me and tries to take over. Be the light and the joy inside of me that overflows into all that I do. Amen.”
*Ministry Update*: I know, I know. That's two pretty heavy, spiritually-heavy posts in a row! But I promise there are good things happening this month in Malaysia. We've gotten the chance to work with some pretty adorable children with our the church's children's ministry, and I am LOVING it. I keep thinking I've found the country with the cutest children… but it might be Malaysia. We had a blast celebrating Easter with them. Just wanted to share a picture or two of these sweet babies 🙂
Beautiful Jackline!
Kids after their egg hunt 🙂
