Recently I fasted from communicating with home for two months. It was unexpected when God asked me to do it, and I was really really unhappy about it. I went into the race so excited about keeping my loved ones at home in the loop. I was so excited to think about the stories I was going to be able to share with them. So when God called me to this, I was crushed. What do you mean I can’t talk to my parents and tell them I’m okay, ask them about my dog, and say that I miss them? What do you mean I can’t call my boyfriend and tell him I love him and share with him everything that’s happening in my life? What do you mean I can’t reach out to my sisters when I need a good laugh? What do you mean I can’t ask my friends about what’s going on in their lives?
But I trust God. I trusted Him in the moment He asked this of me, and I still trust Him now. And as always, He knows what He’s doing. He used the fast to pull me closer to Him. He used the fast to get my eyes fixed off of home and on the Kingdom instead. He used the fast to open up my mind and heart to the idea of missions as a lifestyle, to the idea of living a radical and sometimes uncomfortable life for His glory. He used the fast to make me abandon everything for Him, and to break me, and then to show me how sweet life can be when you’re living for Him and Him only. He used the fast to allow me to fall in love: with Him, with a culture, with a child, with my team, etc. He used the fast to teach me how to be a better daughter, girlfriend, and friend. He used the fast to teach me lessons that I would probably have never learned if I hadn’t gone through the fast.
But all of those things are personal. They are between me and God, and if you were to fast from internet, or communicating with certain people you would learn completely different lessons. However, there are some lessons that I think would be the same. Especially if you’re a world racer.
Below are three lessons that I learned about how Internet can be really distracting from our relationship with God, and with life in general. And even though I wrote about how the lessons specifically affected me on the race, I think everyone can take a little something away from each of them.
1) Your importance does not lie in how many emails you have
Think about those people who track how many likes their picture gets on Instagram, or how many Facebook friends they have, or how many people comment on their Facebook status. I bet most of us look at those people and laugh. On top of that, we judge them a little and think, “Why do you care so much? That’s ridiculous.”
But when you’re on the race, and you’re having a rough day, you’re feeling alone, misunderstood, or forgotten… I can guarantee that an email from home (whether from a friend, family member, or even that one person you used to sit next to in class but have never actually gotten to know) suddenly makes you feel a little less alone. It suddenly makes you feel wanted, appreciated, desired.
What I have discovered, though, is that this is just as silly as caring about how many likes you get on Facebook. Your importance – your worth – does not lie in how many emails you have in your inbox. Your identity should lie within the one who created you. The One who desires you more than you could ever possibly imagine.
God is jealous for you. When you’re feeling down, He WANTS to be the one who picks you up. And rightfully so. He knows you better than anyone. So if you’re feeling down, He knows just what to do to make it better – so let Him. Everyone else will eventually let you down. (Not because they aren’t awesome people, but because they’re human.)
My challenge to you: The next time you feel upset, or hurt, or just lonely: Don’t text that friend. Don’t call that family member. Don’t open up Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram. Turn to your creator and spend time with Him instead.
2) Don’t use internet (or anything else) to hide from God
If you don’t think you do this, you probably do. I say this from experience. I honestly was not aware I had a problem with this. But we are a generation of people who, when in the middle of an awkward conversation, open our phone and scroll through Facebook instead of engaging with the person in front of us. Or we get home from work/school and immediately open twitter to vent about our day. Or we call our friend to process a big life decision we have to make instead of talking it over with God. Without having the option of doing any of this, I didn’t think I would have a problem hiding form God, and avoiding processing things with Him.
What I noticed, however, was that as soon as I ceased communication with home, the amount of games I played on my phone increased exponentially. I didn’t have social media to scroll through anymore, so I would lie awake for hours playing Two Dots, 2048, spider solitaire, and Sudoku. I mean it really turned into an addiction. Without communicating with my loved ones, I felt like I was missing something. I had a million thoughts running through my head and I didn’t know what to do with them, because I couldn’t take them to the people I usually took them too. I could talk with my team, of course. But that didn’t even solve the problem. Because the problem was that I wasn’t taking these thoughts to God.
When I couldn’t get my mind to shut off, I ignored the reasons for WHY that was happening, and pulled out my phone to play a game instead. When in actuality, I should have talked to God about everything running through my head. I didn’t even realize it was an issue until it became an issue. I’m not gonna lie, I have yet to break this addiction. I still have to force myself to process with God. Which means I have to force myself to put down my phone, turn off the game, and give all my thoughts to Him. And not just give them to Him, but listen to what He has to say about them in return.
My challenge to you: Next time you can’t seem to silent the “chatterbox” (all those thoughts running through your head) turn off the electronics and all of the other voices around you and let Him speak to you instead.
3) With everything else going on in the race, Wi-Fi should not be something that stresses you out.
I mean seriously. On the race you’re going to be dealing with brokenness. You’re gonna come face to face with poverty. You’re gonna get lice. You’re gonna struggle with defining what ministry means to you. You’re gonna question what God wants out of your life. You’re gonna question God. You’re gonna be pushed to your limits. And then you’re gonna be pushed some more. You’re gonna hate the people around you. You’re gonna love the people around you and then lose them in team changes.
You’re away from home, literally nothing is the same, and for some reason you think you have to do whatever you possibly can to find wifi in order to connect yourself back to someone, something, anything that makes you feel a little bit normal. Here’s the catch: on the race, that isn’t easy. Wifi will either be hard to find, or it will be so slow you want to punch a wall, or you’ll be in the middle of a conversation and it will stop working all together, and all of these scenarios lead to a little bit of anxiety and frustration because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY CAN’T JUST ONE THING BE EASY.
People, stop the madness. Out of all the things life will throw at you this year, out of everything that will have you stressed out and frustrated this year, hear me when I say this: do not let Wi-Fi be one of those things. It’s not worth it. You left home for a reason. Don’t let it frustrate you when you can’t seem to connect back to home at times. I promise, it’ll be okay.
My challenge to you: Let it go. Spend some time on the race without Wi-Fi, and see what God has in store for you.
Looking back, I’m glad I decided to commit to the fast. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s over – haha. But I’m also really thankful for it. In ways I wasn’t aware of, I needed it. And it’s left me changed. It’s taught me lessons that have changed me, and it’s also changed the way I will use Wi-Fi on the race. Because of this fast, this year of my life will be even more fruitful. So ask yourself, what do you need to give up or change in order to have a more fruitful, beautiful life?
