Alright guys, announcement time: I have decided to leave for the World Race in September instead of January. No, not September 2015. But September 2014 – as in, I’m leaving in 10 weeks. As in, my training camp is now in 3 weeks. As in, I’m not prepared for either, and I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing / getting myself in to.
So, why are you doing this?
Ahh… That’s a tough one. And I think it should start with, “what made you start thinking about this?” And the answer to that question is: a series of unexplainable events. I had thought (like maybe once or twice) that “Man! It would be kinda nice to leave in September.” See, I’m graduating August 1st. So waiting till January to leave would mean moving home for 5 months, without a full time job. At first I thought this would be a great time period to allow myself to get ready for the race. You know, do some fundraising events, buy all my gear, save some money by subbing at the local high schools, etc. But the more I thought about it, I realized I don’t like living “in between” phases of my life. When I’m done with one, I’m ready to move on. Period. I’m a planner, so once one planned event has happened, I can’t keep my mind from jumping to the next one. I’m also a worrier. So really, this 5 month transition period would have been a time for me to plan, worry, plan, worry, well… you get the idea.
So randomly, while talking to my dad about a girl I’d come into contact with who was leaving in September, my dad says “why don’t you leave in September?” …. “Dad, why are you saying that?” He couldn’t really give me a reason, just that he felt like it’d be a good opportunity. So I started to pray seriously about it. But I couldn’t make it work out logically. Having a degree in math, I’m the kind of person that if things aren’t logical, it REALLY irritates me. And leaving in September seemed like a bad idea for several reasons.
- Missing a week of a four-week class in July for training camp seemed like it could very possibly keep me from passing the class. Hence, I wouldn’t be able to graduate.
- I wasn’t going to have the money to purchase gear until the end of July, but leaving in Sept meant I needed that money and gear… well, NOW.
- I wasn’t going to make be able to make money this fall, so I won’t be able to pay off any of my student debt before leaving, and this was the money I was planning on using for spending money while on the Race. (AIM recommends we take $1000-$2000 of spending money for souvenirs, extra supplies, street food, fun excursions, etc.)
- I have nothing ready. I don’t have my vaccines, my power of attorney written out, my insurance figured out, my loans straightened out. Nothing. I am not prepared to leave in September.
But then this verse pops into my head:
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Matthew 14:27-29
I started sinking my teeth into the Word, and found verses such as Matthew 10:9-10 “Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts— no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff.”
I’ve struggled with “control” issues in my life before – my life can pretty much be a summed up as a power struggle between me and God. Who has more control? Over the past two years, I’ve worked really hard on surrendering every aspect of my life to God. And that’s what the World Race is supposed to be about – reckless abandonment for the glory of our Lord. My nature to worry, plan, and control things in my life made leaving in January very hard for me to surrender this mission trip to God. Not because it’s not about Him, but because having so much time to prepare allowed me time to take things into my own hands. It was allowing me the time to decide how and when the money for my trip would come in, how and when I wanted to prepare for the race, how and when I wanted to leave.
By leaving in January, I was controlling this journey – not God. And that wasn’t sitting well with me.
So I answered the call from Jesus. I truly feel like He called out to me and said, “Come.” So this is me, surrendering everything – my plans, my control, my desires, my life. This is me recklessly abandoning everything I have for my Savior.
So to sum up, I’m leaving in September in order to answer a call from God that I can’t really explain. And that’s okay. He knows why He’s called me to leave in September, and that’s all that matters.
And you know that list of things that I made leaving in September a bad idea? Well miraculously, each one of those reasons has worked themselves out. God is good, all the time.
I’ll be blogging more soon about what this changes – my route, my financial deadlines, etc. I didn’t want to bombard you all with a ton of words at once.
