It’s been about two weeks since I’ve been gone. I figured that I’m long overdue for a blog. But it’s hard because, where do I even begin? It’s not like anything crazy exciting or radical has happened. I’m still living my daily life, but it’s just no longer in Georgia.
No, I haven’t seen miracles happen. I haven’t brought anyone to Christ. I honestly don’t have any awesome “God” moments to share with you. And that’s the race. Not every day on the race feels worthy of sharing about. My perspectives haven’t radically shifted. I don’t feel like I see the world in a new way, I don’t feel different at all. So I guess it’s been hard to think of something to update everyone on.
I think that goes back to my issue of romanticizing the world race. I would read blogs upon blogs with these crazy awesome stories about how God moved in marvelous and miraculous ways. But that’s not what it’s about. At least not yet. It’s about learning to live life in a different place, a different culture, and a different way.
And I guess I have been learning how to do that. Since arriving in Panama I’ve learned to rely on others. I have to rely on others for everything from when breakfast is to where I’m sleeping tonight to when I get to shower to “Hey Brad, what is this kid saying to me?” (Those three semesters of college Spanish didn’t do much for me.)
And it’s not just humans I have learned to rely on. I’ve had to rely on God a lot. I’ve had to rely on Him to give me strength, patience, grace, and peace. I used to find these things in loved ones, in food, in alone time, in a good sermon, in an episode of Modern Family. I relied on living a comfortable, complacent life. But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. God calls us to stand out, to take risks, to abandon our lives and rely on Him for everything. Seth Barnes states that “If we never get out of our comfort zones, we can’t grow into the places God has prepared for us.”
So the reason I don’t think I have much to report on is because God is still preparing me for the place he’s prepared for me. Confusing? Yes. What I mean is that God is still breaking me down, pulling me out of my comfort zone. I’m still in the stage of abandoning everything I’ve left behind. But I have faith that in His time, God will show me miracles. He’ll use me in ways I could’ve never imagined before.
We met a pastor in Tugri who God has used in miraculous ways. One day he heard God tell him to pick up and move to Tugri. So He did. He took his family and walked for days until he found himself in a culture where they didn’t want him. With no friends, no shelter, nothing except the voice of God telling him to minister to these people. So he slept under a tree for 3 days in the rain with his wife and children. After two years and starting 10 churches, 900 people in the area have come to Christ because of his obedience to God.
That’s the kind of life I want. That’s the kind of life I want to learn to have. I want to hear the voice of God so clearly, that he can do radical things in my life for His glory. I want the faith to follow God when I have no idea where He’s leading me. If that means abandoning everything I know, and being broken down by God to get it, then I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
